Stupid 002 story: I ditched my date...
...to listen to a madman for 2 hours.
I was talking to this guy near a subway exit, trying to sell some insurance, cause that's what I do in my spare time and this thin guy, about 50 years old, with a little beard comes to me saying he works for the same company and he could help me sell a lot more by making a website for me...
...the other guy was just leaving and my date was in about 40 min.
So this guy starts taking about the websites he makes. By this time I had no idea he was insane, I just thought he's a guy that talks a lot, and I mean a lot, cause he didn't stop for two fucking hours man, TWO HOURS!
After about 20 min I realised this guy is not going to stop and the idea hit me: I'll test my patience! I wanted to see how much I could listen to this dude yapping like a mother in law on cocaine. He just didn't take any breaks from talking, not even a second.
Among his subjects were:
- he can make a website for me where I can recite poems and then sell them as audiobooks for the blind
- the US and Russian armies stopped using nuclear submarines a long time ago because they iradiated the crew.
- he was an inventor in the 80s; using high-school level physics, he invented a small device. by putting hundreds of them together, he could power those submarines.....
- he also invented a time machine... made of plastic... high school physics...
- all matter is alive... and thinking... did you ever wonder why they never make a statue for a living guy? all hell could break loose if they would do that. I told him they did it for a sports legend and he replied: I bet that guy has visions, he can see what the statue sees...
- he has sent hundreds of e-mails to NASA, saying he's made a huge discovery:
he was just checkin out asteroids on the NASA website, where they are categorized. He noticed one of them wasn't in any category... after taking a closer look at it, it struck him: IT"S THE MOTHERSHIP!!!!!! The Mothership that brought the hairy white men to Earth. (as time passed, we lost the hair ..) (The ship had a cooky indian name too, but I can't remember)
and more...
.. as for my test, looks like I passed it with a fuckin A.
this guy was talking so fast, I actually thought he doesn't need to breathe... after 30 min into this shit my jaws were clenching... I took some deep breaths and I handled it.. :) for the last hour I had achieved a perfect state of coolness..
my date called sayin I was one hour late, and that's what made this guy finally stop...
