SinsEerily, yours

Stuck in this lapsing rift of tragicness
that has me asking if happiness actually is sadly myth..
Just this infinite cycle... This circle...
Only miserable nights full of hurt, so;
I barely sleep..
'Cause I don't dare to see you there with me..
Nightmares from dreams is usually where it leads..
So I lay to waste and stay awake to hate the way my days are made..
I could see despair decease and fade away,
guaranteed, it's safe to say,
If I cared to reach for that razor blade..
I'd sever emotion and watch it depart; found
wherever it's going, after I chop my heart out
Left to wander endlessly,
as lost as I'll ever be.
I only want serenity.
Oh, how I long desperately
to be rid of these haunting memories.
These caustic treacheries;
holding me hostage mentally
to these thoughts that never cease.
Locked indefinitely
to these obnoxious unpleasantries.
Their toxic venom leaves mild burning sensations
in the necrotic flesh it eats, while further decaying.
Only rotting death in me; vile, flourishing, plaguing.
Wildly. No stopping spreading.
Disease surging my veining.
Thought it'd be you and I forever..
Perhaps one day we'd die together..
That we could get by whatever..
Withstand the test of time with effort..
Apply our best works..No matter the trials..
Just smile and strive for better..
Even through the most violent weather;
like we could survive December
regardless what the sky had sent Earth
-if we were both naked-
-like disrobed raiment-
-as an exposed state is-
Side by side, in open-facedness..