Playboy TV is effin hilarious
quick Adventures In Pornland recap - get ready for some TMI :vroar:
* my eyesight has been going sideways since the summer so since investing in new glasses was too hefty an investment to start with I focused on life's essentials ...
* I went from viewing free porn on my outdated Samsung mobile's small screen to taking a porn subscription on my 33 inch ... budget tv screen
* for the first time I am enjoying the Gentleman's Pleasure of viewing Playboy TV, Penthouse Passion, Hustler HD (currently broadcasting 'Wife forced me to be a cuck'), Penthouse Gold, Dorcel TV and a WHOPPING menu of straight to DVD/pay tv flicks CharlesJones wouldn't dare watch. 80% of those flicKKKs are local and a special kind of hilarious. the girls are superugly, and not in the way Dre and that Nocturnal guy with the funny spelling meant
Eh ... I was gonna discuss Playboy TV. Not saying I had high hopes going IN but tbh I thought they were gonna show some clips of HUGE Heffner reading out erotic stories by the hearth, w/ the scenes being enacted by buxom blondes w/ 80s hair.
No such luck.
Apparently the bunnyman crew are based in Kiev, Ukraine. Endless photoshoots of slightly underweight brunette models with a heavy accent. they wear XL sun glasses and mostly just that.
There's also a topless Communist Cunt lookalike who's followed on his Eastern European travels as he shoots models. The camera mostly focuses on his abs. I guess the gay crowd is being served too #synergy
Seems they're looking to steal the dad bod National Geographic audience too w/ shows called Seesons (80% landscapes, 20% womenz, 0% of my Proud Boy standing by Sir) and European Roadtrip (80% dirt roads, 20% womenz and 0% well you get the idea)
The 'A Day In The Life' segments are best viewed with your eyes closed as the ladies speaking sound dyslexic and out of breath, pronouncing.their.words.one.by.one.with.you.know.l ong.pauses.in.between.
'Hi ... my ... name ... Katia ... Today ... I ... am ... telling ... you ... bout ... my ... life ... I ... been ... to ... many ... places ... already ... Croatia ... Serbia ... Greece ... US!'
'I ... also ... like ... moving ... in ... the ... shower ... listening ... good ... music ... same ... time' (Film shows girl slowmo dancing in the shower supposedly singing into her bottle of shower gel.)
Ah yes, simply wonderful!
The tacky American reality shows ('Swingers') don't hold a candle to the wordless arthouse cinema shorts they randomly throw at you at all hours. You'll be seeing some naked ballerina ... ballerineering. Or they have some lady slow dancing nekkid w/ Mr T's chain assortment on. Soothing.
At this very moment I'm watching a naked lady slicing strawberries and pouring out some yoghurt - in a bowl of course
If it were up to my aesthetic ideals I'd have this channel on 24/7 but I have to get my wanker's worth out of the other porn channels too. The best part was when the Euro Porn Sat was experiencing cosmic radiation difficulties 2 days ago and I was watching the old in and out heavily pixelated in truev80s Mario and Luigi (yes homo?) style. Felt like I was 15 again.
Oh right, almost forgot to mention. Had to go to the optometrist yesterday after all, traffic was getting slightly tricky. $750 for new glasses for middle aged farts. Keeping the porn subscription though!
$100 says somebody's gonna comment on how to CAST porn from your mobile device / tablet / laptop / Chromebook / desktop / calculator to your tv set.
