I use to hate myself but now I love myself and now I sometimes hate others
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I use to hate myself but now I love myself and now I sometimes hate others
I did something the doctors can't even do I 100% cured manic depression that in itself is one hell of an achievement. I don't ever get depressed anymore unless I slip but it only happens like once a year and it's very brief but I've at times briefly slipped out of enlightenment but I hold it 99.9% of the time
If you know where to look and what to avoid there's plenty of zen in the dark side too but it's dangerous you gotta know what the fuck your doing and I'm running a custom design I made myself using bits and pieces of the sith and my own theories there's manuals to learn zen but no manuals to learn sith I read every damn sith quote on the net and only kept like half and the rest I discarded and I was left with a 20 page document of selective sith quotes and that's what I studied.nobody ever told me how to do sith meditation doing zen style meditation on pure and unfocused hatred was a product of my own mind and the meditation technique I started using for the while isn't really much different than regular zen there are no words or thoughts in pure and unfocused hatred any more than there is in zen meditation they just have different flavors but the dark side doesn't dominate me at all but it's still there in some shape or form and in certain situations more of it is revealed in a very zen like way but I keep it dormant the majority of the time and it only emerges when shit hits the fan but it's only zen like because it's unfocused even when it's targeted at something I still keep it unfocused cuz I always keep a zen mind. It feels just like zen except it seems to run deeper and or darker but it's still nothingness to that's the point I eventually got too but I don't exist purely in that mode or anything like that
the nightsisters never achieved galactic power becaue they did not commit themselves to a signle path. By refusing to name the dark side, they could not give themselves to it utterly and could never gain true power- darth sidious
When I read this quote it really caused me to pull away from the sith because before that I read all these quotes about traveling the depths of hate and despair the the heights of maybe love or not I don't remember. I was always trying to understand both sides of the Force and find perfect balance which I did although for awhile I thought pretty damn dark. What ultimately did it for me though is when I found out that the sith don't believe in an afterlife.my style or use of the sith is like that new cancer cure where they removed like 40 percent of the livestock version of the aids virus and reprogrammed it to attack cancer cells and in many cases it was completely effective yeah that's what the sith or atleast my use of it has always been like for me
Like I'm sitting here thinking why were those two facts in the post above about complete dedication to the dark and no afterlife such a big deal to me when I started out by deleting half the fucking quotes and doing it with good intentions lol. All I can think is that it still seduced me because the dark side feels really fucking good and it seduces me it almost completely seduced me but I survived it and moved on a better person the truth is if you go into it as hard core as I did it's really fucking dangerous but I warn about that whenever I talk about it and the only reason I was able to do it like I did is because I was already so experienced in meditation somebody who wasn't wouldn't have been able to pursue it like I did but like it says
“The dark side will devour those who lack the power to control it. It’s a fierce storm of emotion that annihilates anything in its path. It lays waste to the weak and unworthy. But those who are strong can ride the storm winds to unfathomable heights. They can unlock their true potential; they can sever the chains that bind them; they can dominate the world around them. Only those with the power to control the dark side can ever truly be free.”
Well it definitely severed alot of the chains that were holding me back and I learned to control it and once I did that I kept it all but dormant which is good because if I didn't know how to control it could take over at any time like it does every time someone does something wrong to another human being or anything like that....but it was the catalyst to the magnificent Heights that I have reached today. It's very dangerous though cuz the dark side drives people nuts and shit sometimes I would think atleast It took me to some pretty dark places at times like literally it developed into a whole different personality and I would switch back and forth from zen mode and sith mode back and forth and they had two different vibrations and intensities and they battled back and forth but the zen personality in the end become dominant and I haven't felt the sith presence in as long as I can remember it's completely gone but that battle was very important in my development too I think
The personality that remained was an entirely new personality as well infant I believe that nothingness is the real self and anything like that that remains besides that is not self it's just ego and programming. Early on in high school at some point one day after the day that I realized everybody were fucking monkies I decided I didn't wanna comform and I didn't wanna be like other people and I spent the rest of my life tweaking myself and that's how I developed into one of the most unique people your every gonna meet. When it comes to the parts of my personality that isn't pure awareness I've probably had 50 different personalities and each one had to die before it got replaced by a new one I've been so many different people throughout my life cuz I was never attached to anything like that I always viewed myself as a character in a video game and all this shit I've been talking about is nothing but self help shit and I've read so many self help books that it's crazy. Anyways I use to constantly build myself then tear myself apart build myself tear myself apart into infinity I wasn't attached to any of it but I've finally become the person I've always wanted to be finally I've come so far and achieved so much
Probably the biggest personality change I ever had was when I was in the Navy. They tear you down into nothing strip away your humanity thenbuild you up into a different person. When I got out and saw my old friends they told me that they hardly recognized me anymore and that I wasn't even the same person anymore and that I had a completely different personality. I had to reprogram myself after that shit but I'm always reprogramming myself like I said in the post above
Maybe not the biggest change in personalitys I don't know but the point is people really like me and think I'm cool as fuck and I wasn't always cool like this
I read once that shortly before his enlightenment the Buddha was tempted by the devil in every way so don't you think he was seeing and hearing shit. This makes me wonder if my schizophrenia is something like that but here's the thing I learned how to perfectly silence my mind by batteling the voices. My strategy for dealing with the voices has always been to just think nothing and completely ignore them and that's the best strategy to deal with them and when I got on the right meds the voices were silent and my mind was still silent from dealing with the voices and that's where I got that ability from
Most of the time I never hear the voices but I've been up two or 3 years and the voices are talking about what I'm writing they will most likely be gone in the morning I get shots but I got pills I could take more often the voices don't bother me in small doses it's just sucks when the voices have been running non stop continously for more than 24 hours but as long as I keep taking meds I don't hear voices very often at all
According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don't bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. (quoted by Carol Lynn Pearson in Consider the Butterfly)
Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create Miracles
Synchronicity is a concept, first explained by psychoanalyst Carl Jung, which holds that events are "meaningful coincidences" if they occur with no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully related.[1] During his career, Jung furnished several slightly different definitions of it.[2] Jung variously defined synchronicity as an "acausal connecting (togetherness) principle," "meaningful coincidence", and "acausal parallelism." He introduced the concept as early as the 1920s but gave a full statement of it only in 1951 in an Eranos lecture.[3]
In 1952 Jung published a paper Synchronizität als ein Prinzip akausaler Zusammenhänge (Synchronicity – An Acausal Connecting Principle)[4] in a volume which also contained a related study by the physicist and Nobel laureate Wolfgang Pauli.[5] Jung's belief was that, just as events may be connected by causality, they may also be connected by meaning. Events connected by meaning need not have an explanation in terms of causality, which does not generally contradict the Axiom of Causality.
Jung used the concept to try to justify the paranormal.[6] A believer in the paranormal, Arthur Koestler wrote extensively on synchronicity in his 1972 book The Roots of Coincidence.[7]
Wikipedia
I read a book called the celistine prophecy when I was like maybe 14 and it taught syncricity. Syncricity says that as you realize more and more coincidences then the more coincidences are going to appear if you recognize them and through this process you start to vibrate at higher and higher dimensions and you unlock higher and higher realities. I basically worship syncricity and I've used it to get to the position that I am in. I learned how to rap good from marching in the Navy. Here are some Navy coincidences. When I went through boot camp they were tearing down the barracks and building and using new ones that taught pussy boot camp I went through old school boot camp and we were the last division to graduate from our building cuz they tore it down after is. Then when I moved to the submarine school my division was the last division to go through old school BESS basic enlisted submarine school and that's another big coincidence. I toured the fast attack sub the uss Miami and many years later a civilian worker in dry dock started a large fire to get out of work and they had to decommision the sub that's a big coincidence. I was released from the Navy March 3rd 2005 and that equals 33 like the 33 parallel plus it's a multiple of 11 and I look for those cuz multiples of 11 are the holiest numbers in the occult. Now I'm set up in the perfect position about to blow and I'm funded by military disability
Just think some force caused that worker to burn up that sub
Also the entire submarine base got shut down for awhile shortly after I was discharged
In the military we use to cheat all the damn time but we did it as a group
Those of us who were masters of cheating in ways we weren't ordered to were called professional shit bags and I was one of those guys it was a tradition Navy stands for "never again volunteer yourself"
Everyone knows recruiters cheat
I swear to god one time I was standing a post and some dude was asking around for who had drivers licenses I worked at the submarine learning center and I said I did and he's like the captain is with 3 people in the air port and they need to be picked up and I respectfully declined do you know how scary that would be holy shit considering I had only been driving 2 years
Submarine learning center was the cozyest job ever we just sat around all day and did nothing and I did dxm for the first time and was too fucked up to go to work cuz it was like I was on puppet strings so I called in and said I went to the doctor and tried to sleep a little bit longer dumb move because the sent me to a buildings janitor division and they had orders to make me cry. They tried two or 3 weeks to make me cry and there final attempt was to have me stand outside the entire day moving a 10 foot snow pile 5 feet away for no reason and of course the entire time I was resisting them and I shoveled that snow pile as hard as I fucking could. Eventually they told me that they were going to stop trying to make me cry cuz they said they no longer thought I was going to try. They said I had won there respect and that I was being promoted to leader of the unit and that's the job I held the day I shipped for personality disorder failure to adapt to a military environment and I used a secret 6 month long hack to manipulate myself out and our leaders and the doctors never spoke so all the leaders were clueless that we were doing a prison escape all they knew is that we had doctors appointments every week for 6 months in the final instructions I received we did what we needed to do so that leaving the military was their idea because they would have said no if it was our idea the bitch on the hotline made that perfectly clear and I had an apprentice that got out too cuz he never talked to the lady on the hotline and we didn't give a fuck because we both had actually been shanghaid into the Navy by corrupt recruiters. My apprentice actually held alot of high school football records and he had a scholarship for a major University and they told him he would never play football ever again and he was shanghaid in like I was they made me not graduate high school 1 credit shy. And we kept it a secret just between us cuz it wouldn't have worked if any else had known about it and he's the one that showed me the number. Everyone in their grandma tries to get out of the Navy and they all get in trouble or fail it's impossible our specific hack had never been done before because I was a double agent faking symptoms to her it took 6 months of steady effort to get out it was very complicated. When I finally got orders to stop the training and to go to transient personal unite I was in an electronics class and the instructor nick named me killer because I had a certain look in my eyes but the reason I had that look in my eyes is because I knew I was getting out immediately and he didn't. You should have seen the look on his face when orders came in that I was going to get out soon he practically had a hard attack he didn't know it was coming nobody knew it was coming. We started the process when we arrived at the submarine base then they didn't pull us from training until like atleast 4 months into our 6 months at the submarine base
I guess all those are coincidences too
On the base you had to smoke in a smoke pit and you can't walk while talking on a cell phone and you have to be in proper uniform. When they finally took my military I'd away from me that was the moment I was officially no longer part of the Navy. I was standing in the middle of the base still in uniform with a long walk ahead of me I untucked my shirt put my Navy ball cap backwards and walked back to barracks talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette some people got really upset
peace projectillogic
if im patient zen meditation could probably help reduce my roll up intake by at least 50%
do u feel deep routed feelings comin to the surface when u do prolonged meditation?
I will get to you in a second but today I feel sith mode for the first time in as long as I can remember but let me tell you I like it but it was caused by things I didn't like but I'm sure the surface will settle like it always does I swear to god I'm the offspring of many different people's enlightenment zen and others were the mother and the sith was the father I can never forget that that's how much I owe to both of them but let me tell you pick up artist shit like the mystery method well those guys are my other master too I almost forgotQuote:
Originally Posted by D.projectile
No I don't think anything in zen meditation prolonged I think and feel nothing I completely disappear at the extremes but nothingness feels like something if you truly grasp it I guess it depends on if your thinking something out or notQuote:
Originally Posted by D.projectile
Let me tell you I'm in sith mode today for the first time I can remember I haven't seen his presence like this in years he woke up today it's because I'm doing air duster and am breaking up with this bitch finally that I've known for like 7 months this time she took it too far I'm done with her and I'm calm today but I swear to god air duster is the most addicting drug I've ever done I had a horrible Christmas because all I could think is about air duster but now that I'm home I'm happy again ice only done a few bottles though I can't handle this one very often
The thing about air duster is you feel fine the next day but if you do it that day your going to feel like shit the rest of the day unless you're taking it you feel awesome God damn you dude that got me to try it and shit I've hardly touched this shit so far
But just because your enlightened dosent mean you don't get hung over and you don't get dope sick it's all in how you handle it but my masters master never came home with anything but booze when they went out collecting money I'm starting to go back into zen mode already too today was a tough day
Everybody I ever talked to this girl about says I should never talk to her again and it's been going on 7 months she's an ex girlfriend but it's way worse than what you think I'm done
I'm smoking weed too but almost out of air duster you can feel average all the time or like a super hero some of the time and feel the consequences
I'm not the only one into meditating on drugs check out erowid.org
Ya know I own 4 cans of pepper spray lol but I haven't needed to try it on anyone yet lol
I got access to a hand gun too
I got 4 second degree felonys for pulling a machete on someone and they dropped it to disorderly conduct now I have a child's Louisville slugger instead
I'm still going through changes and I'm never gonna stop changing
I have one of the rarest illnesses schizophrenia and I get the second to the rarest blood types but best one to have ab positive and I have one of the rarest personalities and I believe I've been abducted in my dreams a night or two ago I had this dream that I got paralyzed at my mom's daycare and they took me out into a field when paralyzed and we're saying they were gonna eat me in shit and later there was an invisible man in my bed but I was somewhere else I use to fight people in my dreams alot sometimes I would win but they would gang up on me but we keep making progress and I think we found a truce
I've had thousands of vivid dreams and my dreams are always powerful
Like they took me back and we were at the daycare but it was more like the foster home where I was really mad at them but it was just a prank and I sat down and did drugs with and actually had a conversation with one of them and he was being nice but he would keep grabbing on to my throat I would gently pry it off it all started with me actually attacking them in the dream then the war started I'm astro projecting but the shits too real
I'm bombarded by all kinds of Entities waking and in my dreams have been all my life as a little kid for like 10 or 15 years where I was paralyzed and danger would be close but I never knew what it was and each time help would be close and I would try to scream and no sound would come out then there would be nothing I bet I had that dream 200-500 times
When I go lucid I kick there asses