anybody wanna comment on my last verse cuz im really not sure if i like it 2 much it seems kinda off 2 me but i just need sum1 elses opinion
get at me-
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anybody wanna comment on my last verse cuz im really not sure if i like it 2 much it seems kinda off 2 me but i just need sum1 elses opinion
get at me-
ne body
get at me-
ayt ya i just felt like writin a random verse, i kinda forced it and i changed up the subject alot but besides that it felt pretty solid on certain parts so holla back
yo i burn u from the inside out like a microwave oven/
my flow flows steady like a old man drummin/
first i work hard then i begin bummin/
just like sex/
come hard quick, then start runnin/
listen up son, im the champ wit the title/
bitchslap that brit from american idol/
take out the bitch and that nigga 2/
ima sho u how this nigga do/
compared to me ur shits lookin real shitty/
im comin wit them lines that b real grimy and gritty/
spit so hard that ma teeth lose they filling/
then ya jaw drops, and ya eyes hit the ceiling/
kick ya ass to dust now pay me for the killing/
cuz ud ratha b dead then have that real deep feeling/
of gettin ya ass shamed and ya name in need of rebuildin/
call me rambunctious, wen i b fumin/
turn up the dial, and hear the base boomin/
just to flush out the sound, of ya bitch ass losin/
im cruzin, thru these mc's, leavin them droolin/
i come by and every body got a vest on im assuming/
so i hit ya wit words strait to tha heart/
now it starts coolin/
hypothermia spreads to everyone in the room and/
dam that shit was cold, gotchya niggas poolin/
then i take ya bitches, then start spoonin/
suck they brains out the clit, leave more space for ma tool and/
heres ma number one rule man/
cut that bitch off once she starts lovin you/
cuz wen u start lovin her/
shes lovin otha dudes/
u beggin on the floor, and shes makin otha moves/
keep it strait pimpin, leave lovin to them otha fools/
get at me-
chill back and bounce to the feel good music/
step hard and come strong thats how i do shit/
keep it real, keep it fresh, keep it deep, keep it blessed/
keep doin the stuff that got me cashin checks/
pushin drugs leadin to a timely demise/
fuckin wit fat asses and sexy eyes/
touchin on the breasts and them thick thighs/
doin big shit........ always on the rise/
check out the flo on this smooth ass beat/
bumpin in the back and feel it in the seat/
back to the real shit, stompin wit cleats/
cant touch it cant overcome the defeat/
step back and feel wat im bringin to the table/
heart skips a beat and u feelin unstable/
have to leave b4 i can finish it, this is actually the first verse i did with an intrumental playin in the back, so i was workin more with flow then lyrics
get at me-
peep this shit, my rhymes bring they own hooks/
u prolly got ur shit out the local phone book/
spittin radio wavelengths leave ya dome shook/
nah nigga u got scared by ur own look/
my lines swarm ya body like infected insects/
i got 100 cases of proof that i just detected this reject/
im maybe b a little yung but i demand some respect/
u prolly dont walk how u talk so u need to get ya feet checked/
this nigga dont buy clothes, he bucks shots at his couch/
ur bitch dont got prada, she walkin round wit a pouch/
u spit shit like them niggas from down south/
u wuldnt kno a good line if it came out ya own mouth/
homey ill burn thru ya eyes wit my rhymes like peroxide/
u come around my block and u can run but you cant hide/
try the alley ways thats just around the side/
o yea i forgot its a dead end, sorry i tried/
these are some random little parts of old battles, just wanted some comments,
get at me-
listen, homey u got no original skill/
u been bitin off of original lyrics/
i wuld give u my very own lyrical fill/
but u lyrically cant feel it/
u takin all kinds of lyrical pills/
and u still lyrically incoherent/
cuz u got no lyrical spirit/
u spit rhymes like u afraid some1 gonna hear it/
this red-head nigga thinkin he can take my crown/
but thats 2 much title for u so sit the fuck down/
this was a battle that i had in my school today, this is all that i can remember and its not exactly the way i said it, i think, but i thought i wuld post it anyway siince i havent had too much time to sit down and ryte verses lately
get at me-
uppin this, cmon peoples
get at me-
ELEVATE beyond what ur doing now
i got u, wait for my next verse, ima really sit down for this next one and think about it fareal
get at me-
check it, homey i bring levels of skill to every corner of the planet/
like i was u.p.s., shippin bars, runnin rampid/
my lines b heavy, leavin lunch tables slanted/
comin wit levels of elevation, words neva landed/
i got amazing preconceptions wen i lyrically start flexin/
prolificly pumpin out bars like im heavy weight benchin/
quality over quantity cuttin the mic chord tension/
not to mention, nobody can answer the ultimate question/
how did he get so good/
aint no formidable opponent wen hes heated/
comin strait out the hood/
and can neva b defeated/
u wanna hear somethin crack/
then ill give u somethin better/
this kid weaves lines around ya body/
like a lyrical wool sweater/
freestylin wit no beat/
but heads is still bangin/
i took a break from battlin/
but heads is still hangin/
if u didnt kno better/
u think this kid wus still slangin/
i got off that shit/
but i still get peoples heads rangin/
no bass and no trebble/
but this kid is a hormone driven rebel/
vocal flows b heavy around the throat/
like a gold medal/
parents is strait off the boat/
so my loyalty remains unsettled/
fuck america and fuck every other nation/
its all goin to shit ne way/
read the book of revelations/
every one gonna die someday/
no need for an extension/
best friend took a stray/
half a block from ma home/
all cuz some dude not gettin paid/
aint spittin wut they shown/
its fucked up, that all i gotta say/
ill b back to finish it tmoro and fix up the flo but im busy tonite i kno the ending isnt as good as the opener but i got lazy cuz i dont have the passion to write n e more, shit happens
get at me-
cmon peoples
get at me-
wow, almost 500 views and theres only 17 posts besides mine, how many verses do i have to write b4 i get some good advice, cuz i obviously need it if no1 bothers to leave a simple comment, cmon man, i feel like im wastin my time with this shit
get at me-
i saw my old thread fallin off so i decided to up it wit a verse
now u mite make a good joke, get me good/
but u b lucky if i laugh/
cuz i leave u stuck up like an emergency elevator crash/
u swung on me so i ducked then i dashed/
hit u wut stiff fast and sufferin jabs/
now i got u stutterin like suckerin sufferataj/ (Sylvester the Cat)
u cant stop me wen im goin topspeed/
sonic boom in ya room blowin down trees/
its the hudson river flowin thru these/
sick ass bars call it high skill disease/
my minds filled to the brim, so my pen bleeds/
if writin real shit was a sin, got satan on his knees/
wenever i smell haters, homey i begin to sneeze/
im the real hurricane, these niggas is a breeze/
u thinkin u got more skill, ok, nigga please/
i got better flo in ma sperm, so u can come n suck dees/
get at me-
just uppin the thread, please comment if u c this, even if u just wanna say u suck, thats cool, but something please.
get at me-
man i'm feelin your stuff man. some of it's kinda simple but it still conveys a good picture. I usually have to come up with sumthin HARD in order to convey the ideas CLEARLY. also good luck in the battle.. . . . . .........
o and one more thing, "sufferin suckatash" is said by SYLVESTER the CAT not tasmanian devil, get your WB cartoons right. LOL
haha dam u rite, maybe i was thinkin of how the tasmanian devil always yellin out random shit, i gotta start watchin cartoons again, i used to love that. good luck to u 2
get at me-
take a step back as i deliver this track/
water gun flow spit addiction like crack/
stackin bars like i hold gold in my chest/
wen the flows put to rest u c the smoke from ma breathe/
check, homey i got deft skill on the mic/
give you chills like the nite/
thrills parallel to a hijacked terrorist flght/
get it rite, its All Day Every Day Wu Tang/
lyrical knowledge incorporated wit slang/
u dont kno the type a hammas we bang/
directin nails thru ya thoughts to ya brain/
discombobulatin shit i cant even explain/
cuz niggas stay gettin lyrically slayed/
some shit happens and some shit never change/
exceedin limits of unbearable pain/
unbearable shame/
this is wut it is in this life slash game/
my mics stay stained, fuck this rhyme scheme/
nigga im a unwilling member of a crime team/
hate of a lyin teen released like a lion scream/
homey u kno wat bein a lion mean/
got the hunger for more, salive drippin off the jaw/
kickin it raw, kickin the door wit two 44's/
like B I G, Big L, or Big Pun/
mother fucka pick one/
this kid got rep so come n get some/
i didnt revise this at all, im 2 tired. just wanted to up the thread wit a verse
get at me-
word now thats wats up
take a step back as i deliver this track/
water gun flow spit addiction like crack/
^^^^^Try to go more along the lines of this, you still need to step it up and get more complex, to make the message your trying to get thru to them alot easier. keep dong your thang, and more COMPLEX... i'll keep an eye on u
yea no doubt, i appreciate the feeback greatly and u came through a couple times alraedy
good looks kid
get at me-
i was kinda fucked up last nite, spittin off the dome wit some peoples, heres wat i remembered, some parts were missin so i filled them in. check it
step rite and let me set this shit off/
i get off on sick rhymes, leavin kids lost/
my skull is like a twist off, bottle cap/
mysterious rhymes like message in a bottle rap/
shit lemme bottle that, classic like six fo's/
protected scrolls got fillin like, jelly rolls/
better b ready wen my beer belly shows/
gettin real heavy dro, mind reactin real slow/
cuz real niggas know this b the real heavy flow/
im real steady joe, draggin on to the beat/
i dig holes in my sleep cuz this nigga stays deep/
got my mind in the street/
ya better watch ya step cuzin, my clip holds a bakers dozen/
this niggas strait dummin, call me b cuz i leave ya ear buzzin/
spittin freestyles over keystyles, gettin to the beat now/
i bust ya head open leavin brain particles like a beat down/
i release now, the heats how i fire niggas from my creep town/
finally i can sleep now, soldiers fucked up so nobody gonna eat now/
get at me-
homey ma bullets stay hollow to seal ya fate wen its swallowed/
my jobs to stop the haters actin like they followed, ma unstoppable flow/
i bottle ma foes, bodies disposed, all the hotties AND the hoes/
everybody gots to go wen this nigga gets heated/
i give props to every mc that i defeated/
a white boy wins lopsided and they say that nigga cheated/
nah duny, im the original gangsta goin back to the origins/
old schools before ma time so i gotta bring it home again/
kings bridge reppin, my hearts where the natural flow is in/
here i go again, spittin flames like a shaolin dragon/
tiger style in ya area dignity is what im baggin/
ma buddha palm will permanently leave ya face piece gone/
HEY MISTER WEATHER MAN, I FEEL A COLD FRONT COMIN ON/
lookin like ya structure been bombed by ma long silver john/
or is it long john silvers, hmm go figure, im broke nigga/
u aint gonna find a gold digger, strait pimpin wit styyyyle/
shit i fucked ya moms last nite, u can see it from her smile/
turn the dial and i turn to a nigga on the prowl/
fuck the a-town, THIS IS HOW IT GO DOWWN/ (think south accent)
no offense to n e body out in GA also
get at me-
nice verse, vocab an the flo was pretty good
"here i go again, spittin flames like a shaolin dragon/
tiger style in ya area dignity is what im baggin/"
liked that line
keep it up
peace
good looks sirk, thanx for the feedback
call me el nino the notorious lyrical downpour/
floodin all systems wen my imperial clouds soar/
hear ma sound roar blowin out ya ear drums/
supernova bars, ma lines they b fearsome/
the fierce one i am, nigga im the son and the sam/
u can feel ma presence like the sun to your hand/
im the diamond in the rough, u the shells in the sand/
i done figured out the plan, i keep spittin and one day ill b herd/
recongnized as a great another master with his words/
my bars stay on point, aint never been curved/
i spit flames and im still better cold wen served/
cuz ma cold winds burn, acknowledge wut i earned/
ma knowlegde done turned, from a kid to a killa/
livin off nickels and dimes now im gettin that scrilla/
who u kno that b illa, this nigga got skills/
my mic made me money so this nigga got wheels/
playboy mother fucker, all ya bitches cop feels/
pimpin aint easy wen u knock shoes boots and heels/
im that nigga that takes and u that nigga that steals/
quick verse, get at me-
ima b on vacation for a while so i wanted to up this before i left and the thread fell off, i was feelin my last couple of verses so lemme kno if you do 2. or give me ur best shot.
get at me-
uppin the thread, been a long time
homey u aint ready for this lyrical face off/
i rip ya nose, ears, and waist off/
like u was a member of LA Weightloss/
u cant measure all the weight i tossed/
ur paycheck cant even fuck wit, MA DAYS OFF/
lil sumthin i was thinkin bout earlier, got 2 lazy to make a whole verse out of it
get at me-
check the kid resurectin the east coast flow/
killa bees knos, pants low c ma glock show/
dont stop tho, broke ass nigga still got hoes/
creepin in real slow, check it/
now lemme finesse the rugged rymes thru ya membrane/
mastered the art form so my goal b the next game/
apart from ya thoughts ma dick hang like a neck chain/
watch it swing from left to rite, all flavors included/
these bitches gettin at me like hoods on a suited/
check it
this homey cant complain, im risin up over pain/
livin life thru the game, all pride no shame/
nummin nerves wit my lyrical novacane/
inhalation of fumes release the beast from the cage/
from the beats to the page/
light up the streets and the stage/
let ma vocals rip holes thru ya body like a pierce gun/
niggas step to god but they all run from the fiercesome/
break beats got me flowin like the blood from ur eardrum/
u talkin like u a animal, then toss me the spear son/
watch as my arrowheads slice thru ya arteries/
thats a fatality kid, now ur soul becomes apart of me/
my whole mentality is, if i aint finished then it never started b/
cant get thru, cant even startle me, run a rampage like bartelbee/
i just created a new top 5 mother fuckers,i dare u not to start with me/
hear the rythm of the beatbox, i beat flows u beat socks/
paragraphs in position now im waitin till the beat knocks/
everyones gets a hear come around come around/
feel my throat muscles vibratin in to the ground/
advance to the exit cuz niggas dont want it/
step to this like a bear trap, souls constantly haunt it./
fallen foes still feel the pain in the chest/
heart skips a beat every second to the tenth/
lungs collapsed so the body longs for a breathe/
fingers burnt off from my infamous mic filled with death/
n e comments
At first look u think this kid was just average/
Dead ass i leave niggas heads in a carriage/
Every day i drop lines just to feel good/
Debtin niggas who think they "real hood"/
What the fuck is they thinking steppin to a prodigy/
Under the assumption they got skills, yea gotta be/
Talkin like they aint never herd of respect/
Always wanna be hard cuz they think they got rep/
Nobody understands u homey, speak clearly/
Grabbin that mic gave u a new reason to fear me/
kinda cheesy but i was bored
get at me
^^^ Haha word one on ya last one feelin how ya did that i gotta do dat shit!
yo we should make a thread where everyone makes a verse like that with there name haha
pass that shit and lemme show u the tru meaning of ya highness/
honor the best and those worthy of recognition from ya blindness/
loyalty is a rare quality reserved for only the realest of real persons/
jealousy and betrayal is what ultimately leads to all these black herses/
settle down and lemme flow freely wit my neverending knowledge/
these verses got continuous streaks like cars do with mileage/
i done wrecked niggas wit my mysteriously vengeful skills/
i vent for bills cuz my temper swallow mc's like pills/
wash em down wit the infamous and aquatic flow/
legendary for the rep now im hot cuz i kno/
the streets we walk, got mic chords lined out in chalk/
break bones wit talk, u can c ma skills from the roots to the stalk/
everybody get wit it, copyrwrite my shit but niggas still bit it/
bring my ego everywhere and the shit still never fit in/
comments ne 1
comin thru, the master of the art of war/
sun tzu darts originatin from a hardened core/
brace yaself, its the king of the treachourus lava flows/
ganja grows alongside a long line of foes/
c ya mind close, losin that feelin of testoterones/
homey u bein marked for death by ma sharpie/
non toxic flavor cuz ima leave u starving/
read in between the lines/fuck you/ like u was parking/
^^^^^----> added it for fun lol
i dont see no action nigga all i hear is barking/
finish later
Livin home, summin le game show..
Summin le pinto now summin le big show.. ( town now )
I hold down crowns..
Bold, fo, pound ( bounding grounds )
Make, up, dese clowns…
Town, two , town ( what updown )
Axeled globes, money molds, heaters go…
What cha know, what cha now, what cha float… ( what cha goats )
Groove,tools,fools,don’t lose your cool…
Im all ready in the pool ( cools )
Chrome twenty twos screaming, small but still listening.. ( feel me )
Christening dese villains, with d vixens… ( feel me )
P.i. restricted, T.I glistens, Wu-tang vision.. ( feel me )
Mia Heat, how I got you o’niel.. ( see me )
Ol deals, o deal, who steals…. ( see me )
Ol steel, o real, disappear.. ( see me )
Big clear, big beer, big peers… ( see we ?? )
im not sure wut to think of that verse, but either way, drop it in ur own thread.
nah son theres already a thread made for that. and i made this one so i can c wut other wu-heads think about my skills, not to feel good about myself. if you took a second to look thru the temple you would see thats the whole fuckin point. SO FUCK OFF jk
get at me-
lol i feel that.. sorry for the quick to think notion... but your rhymes are tight still