its all good kid
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its all good kid
check it, homey i stay spittin that illmatic shit like esco/
ma breastplate stay filled wit all of the best flows/
i stay crackin bones like i was excersisin a neck roll/
and trust me, ur girl look better wit less clothes/
a man in ma position is tuff, nobody but lex knows ( lex luther(villain))
and u cant even give me props cuz i already gets those/
now u kno that is shoulda been told/
or even written in the scrolls/
that no emcee could b released from ma lyrical threshold/
i bless those, who dont got the gift that i possess so/
i jump on a chics chest and i show her ma breaststroke ( get it )
so lets go, im wit it/
u tryin to do it wen i done did it/
u steppin back and im comin on wit it/
so come git it/
pussy ass nigga walkin around in a boss fitted/
u thought u was a winner but u lost in the forth innin/
couple bars was recycled in the middle, i just thought they fit really well
get at me
comments
im a man on fire homey, u can call me creasy/
seperate ya neck from ya head cuz its just that easy/
chics trail ma sperm cuz they just that sleazy/
u blow niggas i blow roofs cuz ma flows just that breazy/
im too powerful to comprehend so im a take it real slow n chilled out/
ur skills only fill half the glass homey, mines done spilled out/
my rymes take pages, ur shit aint even filled out./
i rap for the ages, u rap like u from down south/
u wouldnt know a good line if it came outa ya own mouth/
u already spit ya 2 bits and i aint even bring em out/
get at me-
comments please
The white line is the only line in this verse that good IMO. ITs in battle format,which gets boring to me, unless its simply raw.Quote:
Originally Posted by adedwutang
By battle format i mean the rhymes are all like " i'm do this to you then this" and "you couldn't do this if you were this".
Try tellin a quick story in the middle of yo verses, or make a whole story verse.
yea i kno wut u mean, i been writin story verses for a while, i got em all over the thread, its just sometimes i dont feel like putting so much thought into it. but thanx for the advice ne way
tight is all i gottta say
My battle format verses kinda got a little story in them like this:Quote:
Originally Posted by adedwutang
I fund a mental pateint through lyrics that come spiritual
These are fundamental basics, foundations are critical
Potential grows exponetial, been through the white flames
The presidential has the essential credentials that ignite games
Thats of a legend, spoke to the reveren for seven seconds
On some blessin wit words, but niggas wrestlin wit weapons
Peep the message, One versus four hardcore mc's i tore
Washed them niggas upon shore, behind the discount store
Put your, thoughts together nicely
Fuck the fighting through writing, fists strike like lighting
Givin dental records to the biting
Yo Electrical techinical specticales can't see me in a wire
Medical assistance need by the opposin foes, trapped in fire
So put down that desire because death will transpire hastley
Hire niggas to sell saphires, them switchin liars try to waste me
this is what i thought a story verse was like, wrote this a long time ago
your shits tight by the way
The Lift
i woke up to a phone at 5 after 8/
my mouth was filled with a bitter sweet taste/
it was ma man callin up sayin meet me at the place/
so i went to the bathroom and washed the sleep out ma face/
he said i aint got much time and i gotta quikken up ma pace/
so my slo motion movement turned to a race/
grabbed the jewelry out ma case/
then said by to ma baby cuz i knew i plucked an ace/
waitin for my ride on the corner of the street/
ma walkman playin and my head bobbin to the beat/
thinkin to myself how i didnt get enuff sleep/
then i felt a vibration at the bottom of ma feet/
a car approached the curb and it was ma boy in the jeep/
we drove away calm and collective, lookin all sleek/
he drove real slo so i dozed off in the car/
he said wake ya ass up cuz we not that far/
we got to the place and i realized it was a bar/
we went inside and took the lift to the loft/
a man opened the door i said can we speak to the boss/
he said "listen kid u better get lost"/
my ass, i kno every man has his cost/
slipped him a twenty and he said the niggas in the back/
walkin thru the room and saw everyone was wearin black/
aint hard to tell that they was sellin crack/
the rocks was big and the pockets wasnt flat/
herd a deep voice in the shadows that instructed wut our mission was/
wasnt listenin to wut he said except "u gonna need some slugs"/
later found out we had to prove our worthiness in the set/
veterans was arguin as they were settin up a bet/
"betcha the white boy backs out" forget that man i gotta rep/
this is my life man i cant live off of checks/
my boy told me we had to merc some kid/
they didnt even let us kno what this little nigga did/
i thought to myself this is some fucked up shit/
wut could of this little boy done to get this bid/
gotta do wut i gotta do, never mind wats rite/
creeped up to his buildin in the middle of the nite/
saw him chillin on the corner so we stayed out of site/
i hesitated as my man started out into the light/
confronted him real nice, n he said wutup u wanna fight/
had my ghat in hand and i was holdin it tight/
i made a movement real slight, and this dude pulls a 40 from the right/
we open fire at eachother and he hits my man in the chest/
i emptied my clip and put my hand to rest/
then i was shocked by wut had happened next/
a cop comes around the corner so i run till im out of breath/
a quik cut to the side alley and into a random door/
i sat and waited smellin the piss on the floor/
my finger was feelin real sore, as i waited some more/
walked out prayin to god that i would b ignored/
next mornin paper says that 2 kids were found dead/
i had so many thoughts rushin to my head/
couldnt sleep all nite sittin in my bed/
woke up and looked for the paper that i had read/
nowhere to be found and i hear the phone ring once then again/
my man says where u been man how much u overslept/
i realized it was all a dream and i felt blessed/
im gettin out of this business man i never shuld of messed/
this isnt exactly how it went but i made it a little little different so i can ryme, and its more like a poem with no beat to it so u gotta add some flow to it when u read to make it sound rite
get at me
Yeah thats what a story verse is to me too. I'm just sayin thats whats my battle shit looks like, like two line storys mixed in wit the "i'm this and that" battle format shit. like
These first two lines is like the "you can't do this" type shit:
Yo Electrical techinical specticales can't see me in a wire
Medical assistance need by the opposin foes, trapped in fire
Then the last two adds some kind of quick two line story:
So put down that desire because death will transpire hastley
Hire niggas to sell saphires, them switchin liars try to waste me
check it, homey this aint the a-town/
i dont lean wit it rock wit it/
im mean wit it pop wit it/
i chiefed it then copped it/
feens need it i shopped it/
hot off the block dropped it/
top dis, shot missed/
got ya stocks pissed/
away, investments astray/
reflecting ya thoughts either way/
homey its redemption today/
lil different but i was just listenin to mona lisa and i started rappin 2 it.
here comes the pain ima bring it real sick nasty/
just like ma nigga used to spit it named shappy/
bustin beats on the textbooks and lunch tables/
spittin flames shock ya nerves like jump cables/
listen to the gun fable, aint drop no bodies yet/
my bats the only thing i need to get ya body wet/
soaked in pools of ya own blood and piss/
i got tools that flood ya lil brain wit Kris/
yea thats ma name nigga dont stomp on it/
kridigis in jiberish so i flaunt on it/
cant raech the level of my skills so niggas wanna chomp on it/
well u can bite this mother fucker i boss ma shit/
go head try and spit it how i spit it, u get lossed on the shit/
get crossed up like i was the answer(Iverson) and u the problem/
aint no mathematical equation to ur loss for u to start solvin/
get at me
i been spittin on everyone elses threads lately but heres one for my own
today was the day, atleast it seemed so/
lil negro was ready for the game of his life/
now hes followin the way of the lite/
his soul never LEFT cuz his body was RIGHT/
his heart is always present thru the day and the nite/
didnt deserve wut he got but god butted in/
shot on the block at the spot the rocks flooded in/
head in the sewer lil niggas family started runnin in/
cops never got the suspect they just threw it in/
the garbage can filled wit unsolved crimes and sins/
this is the life of coke lines, doorags and tims/
push rock to stay alive in the times of kin/
kind of family that let u down when ya lives are shit/
everyones eyes are split, from up and down not east to west/
only see the narrow vision, unnoticed to the kids who finally released there breath/
cuz its the last one there lungs are ever gonna take/
when the fuck are these people ever gonna wake/
to the nonsense replacin logical decisions i wont wait/
willin to take action for wuts rite not just the sake/
peep dat shit
hell yeah nice lil drop right here fasure! feelin it, but still room for elevation! keep droppin in ya thread and i'll keep readin thme and tellin ya wats wat. stay up keep blessin
good looks kid, ima re post some verses from other threads, so i cant get some feeback.
just another day on the grind in the city/
skipped school, fuck it gotta get it on ma grizzly/
thought i take a trip to canal street/
need some new kicks n discounts lookin sweet/
homey got his ipod bangin as i walk with that swagger of oneself/
seen some fly as honeys i thought i drop some knowledge bout ma wealth/
soon as i step up i hear a roar from a far, closes in now people steppin out from they cars/
what the fuck is that people started shoutin/
bitches started screamin and niggas started crowdin/
moment of silence as the masses stood still/
fuck me if the sound of a blast could kill/
if u ever seen a airplane crash into a hill/
u seen a magic show, cuz the shits not real/
the whole fuckin thing disappeared in a flash/
the remnants that remained were only fire and ash/
after all the confusion and tension another plane hit/
i figured wat was goin on and said motherfuck this shit/
death and misery arose from the scene/
chaos took over and everybody fleed/
i was out of the panic now, runnin for my life/
tellin people book it to the rite/
see canal street runs east and west/
the plane hit down south when i released my breath/
took 1 break atleast to rest/
coughs comin deep from my chest/
couldnt look back as im swarmed by strangers/
a cloud of ash rose and released more danger/
i wanna go back and help but im not that person/
im gettin the fuck out as the situation worsens/
cant find ma nigga where the fuck did he go/
looked up real quick and that nigga merked it down the road/
in the clear now expectin another attack to explode/
paranoid in the middle of a battlefield let the ghats unload/
experiencin that makes other shit seem so little/
unimportant or fragile, meaningless and brittle/
how the fuck can u compare that shit to another/
nothin else ever brought me closer to ma brother/
six years later and it still seems like yesterday/
close ones deceased, its christmas and i cant get no rest today/
they'll forever be remembered say a prayer this way/
bless osama as that bitch hides in his mother fuckin cave/
i hope him and his whole family gets takin out by a mother fuckin wave/
wrote this on the spot, peace
this is a verse about Kramer and his little slip up
can u believe the ignorance of some to say some shit/
callin out niggas like its lunch time then play dumb, shit/
i step on stage and let him now wut im workin wit/
death by mic chord and seinfeld never even noticed it/
dam ma dude, i remember how u used to walk around like a cokehead/
always slammed the door shut like the popo was patrollin it/
now a fofo is inevitably shown and aint no controllin it/
see a nigga holdin thick and u aint livin for another moment bitch/
nah chill, i aint even mad at this incompetent wash up/
the whole world need its cleanin. but he still gon get knocked up/
atleast he had the balls to come out speak his voice/
americas so fucked up his next book gonna win the readers choice/
im so sorry fans, i really never ment to hurt you/
but these niggas keep on takin all of ma commercials/
affirmative action is in place and u cant stop it/
it aint there fault ur act died but u still cant drop it/
ya shit is whack son, unemployed and equivelant to black sons/
u cant even represent white people and u gonna fite against the black ones/
1
bumpin
lemme bless the stage wit a earth shatterin performance/
bass blasts in ya eardrum, lookin for a worthiness opponent/
my brain cells filled with chambers of 36, missin a component/
RZA sprinkle some production on ma rhymes cuz this nigga earned it/
give props to the fam that stimulated my very train of thought/
flow is handed down and adapted to the game i brought/
the same name i sought wound up becomin a rap star/
so i switched up my style down to the very last bar/
this nigga got more multies then a 4th grade times table/
live life like im the reason the crime rates stable/
believe or not, the pigs round here shuttin shit down real tight/
but they cant lock up my words cuz im ready for the inevitable fight/
my heats so deadly it brings dark to the shade, who the fuck needs a light/
different from the crowd, cuz in a gloomy place everyones flow looks bright/
lemme bless the stage wit a earth shatterin performance/
bass blasts in ya eardrum, lookin for a worthiness opponent/
^^^
(good opening bar, 8/10)
my brain cells filled with chambers of 36, missin a component/
RZA sprinkle some production on ma rhymes cuz this nigga earned it/
^^^
Didn't rhyme perfectly but, the flow is striaghtm lyrics is descent, (7/10)
give props to the fam that stimulated my very train of thought/
flow is handed down and adapted to the game i brought/
^^^
(nice multi, perfect flow, above average lyrics, 8.8)
the same name i sought wound up becomin a rap star/
so i switched up my style down to the very last bar/
^^^
(Good job at stickin to ur topic, another descent mulit, 8/10)
this nigga got more multies then a 4th grade times table/
live life like im the reason the crime rates stable/
^^^
(Best bar so far lyrically, pretty good metaphor, 9/10)
believe or not, the pigs round here shuttin shit down real tight/
but they cant lock up my words cuz im ready for the inevitable fight/
^^^
(ok bar, descent lyrics, ok flow, 7/10
my heats so deadly it brings dark to the shade, who the fuck needs a light/
different from the crowd, cuz in a gloomy place everyones flow looks bright/
^^^
(think u should of thrown a multi here, with needs a light, stretched lines, good lyrics, 7.5/10)
Overall-8, This verse is good for a quick one, keep up at that shit.
good looks kid, thanx for takin the time to break it down
peace
woow my shit fell wayyy off, ima up wit some lyrics
check it, fuck a beat kid, my rhymes bring they own base and trebble/
i raised the level to a place that can never be settled/
resurectin revolutionary rebels/
this kid got lyrics braided into a metal/
i revolve around time like the diamonds on a bezel/
blazed out the earth from my ravenous flow/
hit you with a thousand blasphemus bows/
rackin up doe's breakin backs of ma foe's/
stackin bricks in the dresser cuz ma closets packed full of clothes/
and one time 2 many i let a nigga slide on my watch/
no more hidin from cops cuz they the niggas supplyin the blocks/
police escort for drug dealers payin out they ass/
officer look the other way cuz they crazy bout that cash/
well my crazy bout to blast, legit business get pension for workin in the past/
fuck the game man im dyin to drop out the city/
makes some moves and my apartment soon to resemble that of diddy's/
so can u blame me, do what i gotta do for the money/
get dropped dunny, not funny no jokes not sunny/
serial killer cuz im seriously read to squeaze heaters/
life and death seperated by mere millimeters/
i fear neither cuz i resurect simply bein near the lever/
liver bust turn ya blood to a black shadowy rust/
never trust a nigga wit a mouth like a battery thrust/
assault and battery plus, black mask fuck ya little bitch ass up/
a medieval soul, im the kenievel to the lyrical sphere filled wit evil/
really no equal to the retrieval of minds that i take wit no question/
previous proffession i was blessed wit the spirit of a revrend/
just to learn my lesson, some people not made to that type of essence/
my lyrical presence is a menace to a any ear that aint ready/
honorable mention wit no announcement, fuck u spaghetti/
say u got an impala but never seen a chevy b, bitch was a betty but only back in 1970/
messin wit a seventeen,nigga only type of green u seen is cold hard celery/
call me el nino the notorious lyrical downpour/
floodin all systems wen my imperial clouds soar/
hear ma sound roar blowin out ya ear drums/
supernova bars, ma lines they b fearsome/
the fierce one i am, nigga im the son and the sam/
u can feel ma presence like the sun to your hand/
im the diamond in the rough, u the shells in the sand/
i done figured out the plan, i keep spittin and one day ill b herd/
recongnized as a great another master with his words/
my bars stay on point, aint never been curved/
i spit flames and im still better cold wen served/
cuz ma cold winds burn, acknowledge wut i earned/
ma knowlegde done turned, from a kid to a killa/
livin off nickels and dimes now im gettin that scrilla/
who u kno that b illa, this nigga got skills/
my mic made me money so this nigga got wheels/
playboy mother fucker, all ya bitches cop feels/
pimpin aint easy wen u knock shoes boots and heels/
im that nigga that takes and u that nigga that steals/
some old shit, get at me
aint it funny, the gap between wealth and poverty/
rich kids dont do shit and got a life set out properly/
some kids culda been a better son if they had the chance probably/
but u dont gotta do somethin u dont need to just wut u gotta be/
and it just seems that i gotta be somethin better then wat i been/
never can i win cuz i just set another goal, live another sin/
unblelievable is the pressure to take yourself another level/
10 dollars out of 2 it seems only diamond bezels is the absolute acceptable/
and then it becomes regretable, you payin thousands for somethin easily forgettable/
cash culda went to a charity fund or even a gift for a friend who acts respectable/
incredible how money takes over and greed no longer is in the frame/
would you have done the right thing with ur money, i think most wuld do the same/
u hate to think about it because its not ur problem to begin with/
until its those same issues and triumphs u gotta live with/
cant get large fries cuz it goes over ur budget/
lemme pick up a dime wen no ones lookin fuck it/
got a friend from school buyin a new lancer 2008/
happy for ma niggas but wut the fuck do i got on my plate/
wut do i gotta show for all the times i been through/
see a cheap nigga and u think hes a bum who needs you/
ur bubble jacket got holes were the fluffy shit seep through/
some days you wish god talks to your soul and says here/
i finally freed you/
feeedddback please
somebody
feedback ppeeeppsss
hey wusup ya thought i come back and drop some knowledge on you old ass mother fuckers haha check it
Invisible Ink, the new alias of a general/
Natioanl Treasure my rhymes become federal/
no retinals, cant focus on the look of ma lines/
only pigment i contain is the blood in my eyes/
word of the wise, too hot cant throw dirt on the sun that i shine/
no cover no bullets your mine/
no time no money im crime/
pause, gimme a second its hard dam work to shit on this record/
lucky like a seven, get ya head blown off split like a melon/
come steppin/
im reppin every hood that be feelin ma message/
hard shit on this track im spittin wit method/
maybe ghost, or masta, im still killin you/
tax man u all paid up but im still billin u/
stick a ice pick in ya neck yes im chillin too/
sorry for the graphics but im just too visual/
gone for a min but a nigga got a legacy/
legendary skill not just a heisman but the treasury/
__________________
aint it funny, the gap between wealth and poverty/
rich kids dont do shit and got a life set out properly/
some kids culda been a better son if they had the chance probably/
but u dont gotta do somethin u dont need to just wut u gotta be/
and it just seems that i gotta be somethin better then wat i been/
never can i win cuz i just set another goal, live another sin/
unblelievable is the pressure to take yourself another level/
10 dollars out of 2 it seems only diamond bezels is the absolute acceptable/
and then it becomes regretable, you payin thousands for somethin easily forgettable/
cash culda went to a charity fund or even a gift for a friend who acts respectable/
incredible how money takes over and greed no longer is in the frame/
would you have done the right thing with ur money, i think most wuld do the same/
u hate to think about it because its not ur problem to begin with/
until its those same issues and triumphs u gotta live with/
cant get large fries cuz it goes over ur budget/
lemme pick up a dime wen no ones lookin fuck it/
got a friend from school buyin a new lancer 2008/
happy for ma niggas but wut the fuck do i got on my plate/
wut do i gotta show for all the times i been through/
see a cheap nigga and u think hes a bum who needs you/
ur bubble jacket got holes were the fluffy shit seep through/
some days you wish god talks to your soul and says here/
i finally freed you/
You lyrically got some shit off your chest with this one.
Kinda reminds me of "Hungry" by U-god but better.
I only have one beef, you need to fix your spelling.
haha good looks yo im actually really good wen it comes to grammar and all that but wen i write freestyles i put down watever but thanx for replyin son.
peace-
the last page of the scrolls homey the dynasty is over/
ima retire and come back harder like jay to tha hova/
invisible Ink write the name down and remember it/
take a mental note of ma skill cuz it only lead to ya betterment/
the delicate flow is so ancient that they just had to relic it/
relish it, sell a cig to a sick cuz im on that goodfella shit/
infectious like staff no vaccination for the lives that im takin/
chef master i bake bad mutha's so hot u cant touch this kid sucka/
fuck up ya ankles wen i break em like half-amazin at the rucker/
bring da ruckus cuz ya never herd somethin fuckin up ma structure/
i hail from the greatest ice storm New York is back mother fuckers/
i dont act son ima hustler wen it comes to fuckin up bustas/
Big L status smoke spliffs wit the baddest rather im badder then the illest/
spillin the knowledge stone cold im the chillest/
killer raps wit science im the devil version of a chemist/
cmon ma niggas
linez 8-12 had my head bobbin yo-
nice work
yea that was my favorite part too i tried to make a verse around it real quik but i dk cuz good looks tho
peace
check it
nuclear rhymes split apart ya particles cuz ma flow so marvelous/
part of his method is a criminal-esque molecular level arsenist/
ima son yo ass cuz this boy got too many bitches im mackin shit/
guess whos back in it, i bust yo head aint no way of reattachin it/
smack ya koofy off, strait up dunce a nigga like ima game show host/
parasitic insect cut up ya veins til i get to ya brain then i choke/
smokin motha fuckas bring a death fog as i approach/
cant escape the mist just sacrifice ya self for the roast/
lackin the inte
If you shortened a couple lines in the begining, this would be one kind of music i would listen to. You gotta a simple and upfront style of writing, and by the end of this verse i really got the points. Reminds me of a conscious devin the dude verse, without all the rhyme schemes he writes with. Out of all the bullshit on this site, this verse is stands apart from what i've read.Quote:
Originally Posted by adedwutang
8/10.
thanx cuz i appreciate that, sometimes i get heated and i just wanna talk real shit so good looks on that. ill try n keep that up.
peace-
pass that shit and lemme show u the tru meaning of ya highness/
honor the best and those worthy of recognition from ya blindness/
loyalty is a rare quality reserved for only the realest of real persons/
jealousy and betrayal is what ultimately leads to all these black herses/
settle down and lemme flow freely wit my neverending knowledge/
these verses got continuous streaks like cars do with mileage/
i done wrecked niggas wit my mysteriously vengeful skills/
i vent for bills cuz my temper swallow mc's like pills/
wash em down wit the infamous and aquatic flow/
legendary for the rep now im hot cuz i kno/
the streets we walk, got mic chords lined out in chalk/
break bones wit talk, u can c ma skills from the roots to the stalk/
everybody get wit it, copyrwrite my shit but niggas still bit it/
bring my ego everywhere and the shit still never fit in/
__________________
ohh man i love this verse lol
check it, you cant dissolve the flow this kid got til im finish/
your raps i diminish, attack the track big shit u cant miss it/
punk mother fuckers in the kitchen, washed up u cant dish it/
feelin ma disses convert ur ass from wack ass to Kristian/ (my name)
best of wishes to ya homey u gonna need the help/
step up to ya father and this bitch nigga gets the belt/
think u got me in the corner better revise ur thoughts/
i rise up from the lost chop the top off the boss/
killer instinct only comes out wen u the poorest/
lolipoppin this nigga flamin like a torch in the forest/
pour gasoline rhymes til i engulf ya whole family/
satanic raps the fire in my mind equivelant to insanity/
representing all of humanity i take out UFO's wit 16's kid im dangerous/
extraterrestrial aliens cant match my intelligence nah nigga/
they aint as fly as i get, i reach space wen my dj finish wit the set/
smack the visual out ya head cuz im moving on to the next/
nigga i can deepthroat bitches wit ma balls on her breast/