Shizzah's Mental Asylum

Thanks fam. Appreciate it. I wanna hear some criticism. What should I improve?

PEACE Mak

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shizzah

http://membres.lycos.fr/northrend/Tyrael2.jpg


Left faceless, corruption in his crest
It manifests through questlessness
Once a white sword, now a gray blade
His face once holy, now decayed and fade
His angelic mail now a rugged leather armor
Wings no longer there, he killed his hellish father
Learned his lesson,lived in depression
No profession in his possession,he had no facial expression
He had only one obsession, manic love for aggression
So he crafted a sword, and planned his redemption
In no need for confession, he ran without a question
He began a quest to the tomb of Lazarus
As he entered, he struck hazardous
Destroying the ancient spirits resting
With sick thoughts manifesting
He ransacked the sarcophagus
And took the sacred armor, sword and shield
Now he only need wings, to return to the battlefield
The rage within him, was not so beneath
He only wished for heavens to die from defeat
He wasn't the one to concede the deceit
The deception, was another reason for redemption
As the cold blood boils underneath his loins
He polishes his sword, and then he joins
The eternal warpath of heaven and hell
Centuries have passed since he fell
An army, under his emblem, assembled
Paragraphs of destruction, heavens shall tremble
Decades of preparation, made his wings angelic again
The fallen, blasting rampage upon his bretheren
The gates of heaven were breached
The ghosts were reached, the sound of war horns
Tyrael's army in a swarm of torn form
The throne of the sky quickly went from gold to black
What Tyrael took, is never coming back
An eternal curse, upon the world

And the people start living life in the aftermath

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YO SHIZZAH YOU GOT UR DARTS N BLADES SHARP ON THIS VERSE MAN I THINK UR LINKAGE OF WORDS IS ILL LIKE

Quote:

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As the cold blood boils underneath his loins
He polishes his sword, and then he joins

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Thanks fam ^

Really appreciate it, coming from a writer of your calibre.

I really wanted those Tyrael verses to be special. Part 3 will probably come soon.

Again, thanks on the feedback.

PEACE Sheepish

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rainy Dayz

dope shit, u really 15?

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Hahaha, thanks, I'll take that as a compliment.

Yep, I'm really 15.

Adding aliases to current writer personality. I shall be now known as

Shizzah a.k.a. The Rugged Wizard a.k.a. Hells Cardinal a.k.a. Fallen Angel a.k.a. The General

excellent work shizzah/genius.

yo i'm ill, not your marginal rap singer
mad skillz but still takin longer to get on than Cardinal Ratzinger

What's Gizzin OT?

Here's a bar from every personality -

Shizz-

The best, who complexed the next level of chess-blessed text
I possess the skills to manifest as a bullet in the chest, through the vest

Rugged Wizard-

Take a bite from the Orions Belt, it never felt
Like the world is on a shelf, uplift yourself beyond wealth

Hells Cardinal a.k.a. The Fallen Angel-

The nasty smell of rotten bodies and corrupted blood
Unleash the fury of a thousand shotties, encrypted with mud

The General-

My dictionary is filled with profanity, the Degenerick General, can it be?
Guns and swords swinging and banishing, lives ready for the vanishing

just checked back for any new work-
like a fiend-

lookin forward to your next drop G-

peace-

I was taking a break from darting for a while...

Now the Wizard is back...

yo i gotta drop a quick one since i just wandered into the rugged asylum-

yo this hiphops now under my auspice
i'm takin emceez and tossin 'em in moshpits in Auschwitz
OTB got a Mossberg that spits
watchin shot-up flossers' moms and homies get nauseous

what up Shizzah/Genius!!

peace-

Can I get an O????

That's sick shit OTB.

Duh man.

[QUOTE=Shizzah;1225402]Thanks fam. Appreciate it. I wanna hear some criticism. What should I improve?

Nothing!!

^ Thanks fam, you know it means a lot.

LOL this nigga think he's holocaust. Rep.

Admit it Hollow....you dig Holocaust !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!