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This is a very powerful verse. It has one thinking of what a woman or how a woman thinks. A perspective hardly witnessed in written verse. Its funny actually the title you gave it. Cause it totally- i don't know how to express it, its well expressed, you managed to bring it to such a conclusion which i could not imagine. Actually surprised!!
Nice verse.
Peace
PS: Keep up the good work and keep posting.
This is a good piece, Dae. Clearly all about the content, which I would certainly give a thumbs up. I think anybody who struggles with themselves at times, can relate to this on some level. Interesting to see it related in reference to a man specifically, from a female perspective. Reminds me a lot of some pieces I have penned. Good use of varying lengths of lines too. You tend to do that well. This was a good read.
Quote:
strap on a suit if armor to protect his weakened flesh
appearing hard as stone to hide the heart underneath his chest
Quote:
unable to hide from the truth seen in his own reflectionbroke the mirror to free the demons
covered in blood but never screamin'
after viewing the shards it’s still to hard to even envision dreamin’
tired of being the victim
of a system that convicts him
running from life’s restrictions
deepens the affliction of addiction
Dae, very well written piece about the male psyche...It showed great insight that you could articulate it so fluently from a womans point of view. Some of us guys (me included ) at various times like to think we do a good job of being emotionally imperceptible. For all the good intention it is a self defeating cycle that we need to liberate ourselves fromWhether or not this piece was about a particular person you hit the nail on the head. I enjoyed this read, the highlighted quotes stuck out the most to me...Props!
ONE LOVE
i agree , well expressedQuote:
Originally Posted by GuardianOne
A DRINK OF WATER......thats whut this verse is....
sup Dae....this reminds of one joint on Laurin Hills last cd where she jus vibesin with the guitar....she spat one ryme...every verse was on point
"Mystry of Eniquity" thats it....
i loved this peice
2 thumbs up , real nice work
I just want to thank all you fellahs for feelin' my piece. Is easy to relate to the male psyche once one is able to remove the preconceived barriers of what supposedly makes us so different in the first place. We are all the same, in that we are all HUMAN ... we all live and breath ... we all hurt and die ... and we all fight in this battle we call life. But yet, society places the initial burden of "strength" on a man. It's that very same pressure that has many would be good men going against what he knows to be right in an attempt to somehow succeed or feel complete. All of what I wrote also holds true for woman, it's just that we're not hit with it as directly as men are. It's crazy when you really think about it ... if we could all just embrace the fact that we are ONE, perhaps this proverbial battle of differences that we so rigorously fight would be won almost instantaneously. Right now, I'm still in the process of wrapping my mind around this notion. I've not yet perfected it, but at least my mind and my heart are open to the possibility of doing so.
Thanks again for the feed ... as always, you guys know it's appreciated.
Peace
Nice, strong lyrics as I've come to expect from you. Swear if i had a record lable, I'd sign you. keep it up Dae.peace
YO NICE VERSE MAN REAL TRUTH SPOKEN THAT DEFENATELY KNOWLEDGE BORN FOR REAL KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK
Eric, you are too kind :f :D ... Props to the both of you for diggin' my piece.Quote:
Originally Posted by SHEEPISH LORD OF CHAOS
One Luv
"broke the mirror to free the demons"
i love that line, so simple, yet it speaks volumes to me... the whole poem was good, but that one line stole the show... i don't have much to say other than it's a great piece, and i enjoyed the read...
"I just want to thank all you fellahs for feelin' my piece. Is easy to relate to the male psyche once one is able to remove the preconceived barriers of what supposedly makes us so different in the first place. We are all the same, in that we are all HUMAN ... we all live and breath ... we all hurt and die ... and we all fight in this battle we call life. But yet, society places the initial burden of "strength" on a man. It's that very same pressure that has many would be good men going against what he knows to be right in an attempt to somehow succeed or feel complete. All of what I wrote also holds true for woman, it's just that we're not hit with it as directly as men are. It's crazy when you really think about it ... if we could all just embrace the fact that we are ONE, perhaps this proverbial battle of differences that we so rigorously fight would be won almost instantaneously. Right now, I'm still in the process of wrapping my mind around this notion. I've not yet perfected it, but at least my mind and my heart are open to the possibility of doing so."
wise words too... keep doin' your thing... i hate to sound sexist, but 70% of the women i come across on a daily basis seem to be completely brain-dead... they, as well as my ex-girl, could take notes from you, LOL... intelligence is frowned upon in my neighborhood...
Awww ... thx Psy ... now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D ... lol ... trust, I do have my faults, but I'm grateful that a lack of intelligence isn't one of them. Thanks again for taking the time and for giving me props.
***And a special thanks to Bigben for putting this thread together for me. I'm lovin' it.
Peace
Removing The Mask
Who is the one to blame for the source of my shame
surely it is I, for I’m the one who is inflicting the pain
it’s plain to see, but hard to believe,
that this person is me . . .
a harsh reality to finally accept full responsibility
no recollection of myself, no fiber to my being
unable to cast a reflection that is even worth seeing
so full of doubt . . .
so I cast what’s on the inside-out
camouflaged like a chameleon so others can’t see what I’m about
seen as the brightest light, but yet unable to shine
embarrassed by my life at times, so I pretend that all is fine
like hand blown glass . . . my mind-it seems so fragile
hard to believe to those who perceive me as being so agile
but I’m not . . . I’m non-existent . . . an empty hollow shell
living in the shadows of what appears to be hell
chastised and bastardized to suit ones selfish needs
mislead by a generosity that concealed true greed
thought I was freed . . .
but in actuality, I became a shackled “slave”
a young girl with a “master”whose thinking was completely depraved
mislead by ways . . .
that appeared at first to be real love
surrendered all that I was in hopes to hover above
the former image of myself that was so lost and unworthy
if only I’d trust in “him”, then I would never have to worry
and trust I did . . .
for many years, until there was nothing left
the many lies that were told, became the secrets that I kept
behind closed doors I’ve wept . . .
my pillow cases soaked and wet . . .
drowning myself in sorrow because this life is so hard to accept
and equally, so unkind . . .
at times it felt as if I were losing my mind,
drying these weary eyes that seem to be nearly blind
searching for an unknown love that seems impossible to find
perhaps it shall be mines next lifetime . . .
Who knows . . . . . .
Peace
damn .. that was dope
That was a very strong and thought provoking piece. I liked it how you began by describing your personal inner turmoil, but then switched it to relating your turmoil to the actions of another. It had a sad, lost, almost hopeless sort of feeling, and once again related very well to anybody who struggles with themselves. Good effort. An interesting read. Keep it up.