The Universe is out to get me.
Thursday afternoon I tore ligaments in my knee while landing very awkardly after a poor attempt to fly like Michael Jordan. Friday morning I get a haircut, but the tendons in my knee line up like the planets to the sun in such a way that makes my knee twitch and my body jerk, this happened while the precision clippers were to my sideburns. Friday night I walk around the party with the biggest dent in my head and am actually able to convince people I had brain surgery its so bad. At the party some wigger faggots point a gun at some other dumb fucker and the party gets split up. After all the commotion I find that someone has walked out the room with my laptop bag, inside were my laptop. When I get home I find that my dog scraped up the inside of the door and trim probably needing to go outside I figured because not far away from that I find the wettest muddiest brown-yellow shit pile right on the carpet. I clean the poop, dive into my bed and fucking weep all while having to slightly levitate my leg in a prone position so it only hurts a little. Right now im wearing a hat of shame, literally, and eating some FUNYONS wondering why im on such a damn streak. I saw a dog get ran over and not die so I just walked on by so I think...
