Embarrassing shit you've done

**ShaDynasty** · 10-22-2011, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by cutn' heads

i sometimes have problems with public urination. so i was at a football game and went to piss. the bathroom was packed and there were lines for the urinals. long lines. i finally get to one and cannot piss. im trying so hard and that shit wont come out. im doing everything i can to take my mind off the situation. nothing. then the guy behind yells " hey, what do ya got a PSL on that thing?". and the whole bathroom, like 100 people, start laughing. loud too. i just zipped up an walked out.

So where did you piss?! I have to know how the story ends! lol

Originally Posted by Chevy Chase

Public urination can be a bitch. I once pissed against a tourist bus in Amsterdam. I thought the bus was vacant because it was parked. Turned out to be full of Asian tourists and the windows were slightly tinted. Didn't notice until I saw flashes of their cameras go off from inside the bus.
I was stoned enough to walk it out like nothing happened. This happened during Corpsterdam.
Also, one time I was at the red light district, I saw a hot Italian looking girl and wanted to fuck her. So I went inside and paid her 50. She started unzipping my pants and rubbing my dick through my underwear till I was fully hard.
She then pulled down my undies and told me to ly down on the bed. Then she unpacked a condom and put it on my dick. I said wait, I have to pee. I couldn't get the condom off in time and peed inside the condom. Looked like a water balloon hanging from my dick.
She was grossed out and told me to get the fuck out.

Thats like Alan Partidge getting a hooker haha

I was at a heavy metal concert once (I hate the music, but some people dragged me to see it) and I went in the overcowded bathroom twice before I could finally pee. Thing is I had to go, it was actually painful but all the people in there (including one guy hurling on the floor) just threw me off.

haha oh heres another drunk urination one, I pissed in the middle of a patch of grass in front of the airport where people are picking/dropping people. Late at night but the place is brightly lit, I don't know if it had anything to do with me getting fired, but its possible.

**ShaDynasty** · 10-22-2011, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by DickyTouch

when i was 8 i went with my aunt and cousins to Cedar Point, which is the best and biggest amusement park in the world, located in Sandusky, Ohio.

Being that this was around '89, the Magnum XL 2000 was the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world at that time....

...and the line to ride it was 2.5 to 3 hours....So here i am, waiting in this line that winds back and forth seeing the same douchebag faces every fucking row and the whole time I gotta piss...

made me laugh dicky, you think the piss hit people below or behind you on the ride? Cos that would instantly fucking ruin the thrill of the ride for me.

**Dooch** · 10-22-2011, 06:33 PM

no i pissed right when i got on the ride...i posted the video as a reference.....as you can see, there is ample time to urinate before you go down that first big hill.

**Dooch** · 10-22-2011, 06:35 PM

as you can see....ample time. Now imagine being on this ride, sitting next to an 8 year old....while he pisses himself. Not out of embarassment, but out of sheer relief. A kid who is actually happy he did it, and is now going to spend the next 2 minutes and 30 seconds of his life as carefree and happy as ever.

**TheBoarzHeadBoy** · 10-22-2011, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by RzaRectum

So, this is how your friends acted in highschool? I think you're stretching the kid status just a bit here..

I think these "ghetto black folks" don't fully understand the level of shenanigans that wealthy white kids regularly accomplish. The kid who threw the party barely even got in trouble even though his house got trashed. That was the second night we partied there. Easily like a 4,000 square foot house on a lot of land in a rural town so there was no risk of the police. His parents went away for a long weekend. We had like 10 thirty racks and then we raided his booze.

Guy almost got murdered that night with a wine bottle but I broke up the fight. Dude was so drunk it was epic. One kid was like "That chick you took upstairs did you fuck her?" and the other guy was like "No, don't ask me about it." and then he was like "Why won't you just tell me that you fucked her dude, you obviously did." and the other dude was like "I didn't." and then he was like "stop fucking lying." and he was like "I'm not a fucking liar!" And they they started to push and one kid was holding a bottle and I jumped in and calmed them down. It was funny because they were good friends they were totally fucked up.

Turns out she got naked for him and shit but she wouldn't fuck him unless he told her he loved her. That's how drunk she was and he was like "fuck that" and left. We all had a good laugh about the situation when we sobered up a bit and were smoking twenty sevs on the porch. Girl was crazy. She accidentally bit my friends dick when she was giving him head on another occasion. Now she's in a sorority or something.

**ShaDynasty** · 10-22-2011, 06:42 PM

haha

**diggy** · 10-22-2011, 10:03 PM

Funny how most of these stories involve private parts and bodily fluids.

**cutn' heads** · 10-23-2011, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by Sosa

So where did you piss?! I have to know how the story ends! lol

its anti-climatic. i just waited til' the line died down and went back later. this time i made sure to get a stall.

**ShaDynasty** · 10-23-2011, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by cutn' heads

its anti-climatic. i just waited til' the line died down and went back later. this time i made sure to get a stall.

haha sneaked back in after the villain had gone. Its such a relief to finally take that piss in comfort.

**Tecknowledgist** · 10-23-2011, 06:25 PM

i'm actually proud of this story but i'll post it here anyway. earlier this year, i went to the club on a saturday and stayed there until last call at 2. everyone was chillin on the sidewalk until like 3, and i had to fuckin piss so bad. so i went in the back alley behind the club and started pissin in the snow. i look over and see a cop cruiser right at the end of the alley. i was like fuuuuck so i zipped up and ran out the other side of the alley, hoping they hadn't seen me.

when i get back out in front of the club, i see them get out of the cruiser and started walking towards me. instinctively i just started running, and they tackled me in front of everybody, cuffed me, and took me back to the station. everybody was chanting my name as i got hauled off LOL

i was sitting in the back of the cop car, just so pissed at them for arresting me over NOTHING, and I had no way of getting back at them in cuffs, so in a split-second judgement call, i straight up pissed my pants right in the back seat of the car so they would have to clean it. it didn't make as big of a mess as i was hoping because i had jeans on, but there was still piss all over the seat.

they went to take me out of the car like "alright, come with us-- OH C'MON!!!"

got a $65 ticket and a night in the drunktank. it was worth it though, fuck em