sbc's official thread

[sabinnchung]

"Story of my Life," feedback plz

girl i loved, looked at sorta funny, so sue-me
heard voices, are these signs of me going looney?
roll these joints like bones, feeling sorta old
it just ain't right, stealing just to flow
just to have something to rap about
voice is too ugly, can't even rap outloud
getting dissed in school, to scared to get beat up
at my bro's smoking weed, put yo feet up
feeling like a king, stealing like a feind
lets head back home, only in dreams n shit
am i down to blaze a pound, faze this clown?
i just want another chance at making what i found
is it the devil's way to lie? hell no
abuse, thought it was over, felt the belt though
lips around the can guzzling, fear has me
lil kids nowadays hustling, God can you hear me?

this the life of a dreamer
the trife of a schemer
i wish i were dead at times
but i never bled for my life
this the story of my life

please mom, ok me saying fuck you
being dissed upon, well hell, fuck this crew
\they minds froze like heroin on they nose
gimme some yak n i might just chill, rap about what i know
but already said what i experienced
sad my entire life, so fuck that period
smoking weed the only happy times
i roll a blunt longer then a work extension, nappy ryhmes
making requests of a sinner, fuck God?
running away from home, hoping for the luck-e knock
soda n crown (royal), no good, i know it now
crystal meth, speed whatever, please slow it down
beating my chest like king kong, mad depressed
i don't give a shit, sad n caressed
wanna get keyed, shots at me feet
the square dance, thugs wanna hold gats at my teeth
who the hell are you to say i don't belong?
pissing n shittin my pants? hallucinating, flows drop like the billboard's
don't give a care for the world, screaming
a world without war, nah i'm dreaming
wishin i was dead wood, make bread for good
let christianity spread for good
God tells the truth, most raps sell to goons
a disciple, another fight around me, drop it n tell dude
if you don't i'll die eventually
my mom, dad n family all crying, pre-tensely

keystyle....

[sabinnchung]

Kinks-in-ya-flow, try’d to choke me with my own chain but the linx-broke
Shits-old, I’m big time, you small time try’n to fuck me like gay chinks-bro//
Pay-attention, the visuals got you like manuel uv rays, payed-for-my-attention
Slayed-enuff-men, try n rob my house I’m like todays-elections//
Impactful-speech’s, got you down n out like reading maxim-magazines
Powerful-freak, got you leaking more blood in this then tampun-ladys//
You-get-domed, wanna air you out, the jet prick, like you-got-thrown
Crews-get-blown, I get deep, your defeat ain’t news-to-your-bro’s//
Claim-the-win, infrared dots thru the scope, I see-you,-like-I’m-aimin
Chased-your-kin, bitter n red, brat I’m thru with ya flows, geek-crew,-I’m-slayin//
Shouldn’t-guess, like a superior chess player, me, you couldn’t-best
Scuffed-in-then n now, inferior guess’s by haters, you, me shouldn’t-bother-to-text//
Won’t-bother, boiling mad kid, spoiling ya cash prick, like my flows-hotter
Cope-ya-mother, toilets filled, caskets, joining the mad min, cuz this hoe-I-don’t-bother//
Get-banned-from-rap, a bi-product, I’m being nice got it? Get-scanned-by-glocks
Jets-landed-on-your-drops, shut up, sly when you cop it, mwuhs stuff, so lets-cash-in-my-glock//

[sabinnchung]

Confusin-tykes, snuff-your-texts like your computer-broke
Abusing-me?-syke, cuff-ya-neck like an excuse-choked//
Body-casts-from-vibrations, you-soft, shottys-blast-like-trepidations
Bodys-in-caskets-dun-your-dilating, crew-lost, got-g-past-ya-like-insurbordination//
Thought-you-owned, I know-myself, I bought-my-clone
Pause-you-drone, flows-say-next, like the causes-of-an-unknown//
Screeching-barettas, you all bout the hype like magazine-covers
Bleeping-as-I-smother, your shits ugly like acne-huggin//
Straight-up-you-suck, walk the plank-n-get-shoved
Papes-got-me-son, you slower/dumber then tanks-vs.-turtles//
Hypnotic-ryhmes got ya’ll paralyzed like systematic-lies
I’m bout-it-guys, ya’ll IQ’s lower then a midgets-dick-size//

[sabinnchung]

my souls being eatin' by a cannibal
feeling like a animal, hearing derogatory words, to me its bull
hit the jackpot, and wanted to move from weed to cocaine
wanted to suffocate myself when i was in pain
my love was well guarded, her friends say go away
i hope with all this her opinion might sway
but this hearts cracking too easily
trippin in the crib, thru the dark measily
this is it kid, my chance to be raw
am i wrong or right to kill myself like a hawg
God, please help me, i need help g
screaming fuck you n you, but saying help me really
leaned over and put the gun to head
but think about it, n said
no, this ain't right, not at my age
not this day at least, itchin' like yeast infections
only me n i, the beast in me protectin
killed my grandmother's soul in my head
no i wanna break bread with her last bred
i can only hope i'm one of God's children
dancing with the devil, i want to make a billion
but heads out there hatin' like i'm a flake
is it so wrong to say God's name in vein?
i tryed ritalin, hoping to be crystal meth, just a wannabe
looking online, a Wu head, where's though's wallabies
bruv got sick of selling weed and got to his knee's
wheres my fucking guardian angel
i know where, for all my sins guarding my angles
i wanna be major to be a major hitter
but get confronted like bloods n crips bruv
suggested to rape a bitch to get with her
i would, but don't wanna hurt her
bitches like Jessica Simpson ruin the word beautiful
i just want something important, something useful
struggling hard, but nothings there
so whats the point when i'm broken down bare
i wish i were dead, fuck it
might just pull the trigger to the wrist
if i kill myself how woould my family re-act
karma's a bitch, so will i ever be back?
what i heard made me cringe n studder
bodys lay n all i say is what the
am i a sinner for not being a good samoritan?
or am i just a kid with problems?

[sabinnchung]

once knew a kid named brian who was crazy in the brain
was always out to smoke, but my goals, i was too lazy to aim
met myself, but in the devils hand, is it coincident?
or is it fate i''m going no where but down like consequences
was always a feen but theres always worse
found a gun under my pillow, picked up the cellular
dialed the funeral home, asked for a down payment
and said is it possible to drown with hades, shit
am i really real, or is this the twilight zone
i''m wanting out feeling clasophobic, fighting unknowns
whining till the sun rise, when the punishment dies
thats when brian went out n about bagging furnished pies
crack kills me like a broken foundation in the walls
feeling week in the knees, from dehydration so i fall
got sick of selling tree''s, so i gave in to my greed
running, tripping over my own shoes, forgave the speed
hit the jackpot, yurning for cocaine n speed
even pussy''s get hit n come back like cats
the thugs never leave''d me alone, just always came back on tracks

[Sizzy Up]

Content Was Good.. > Word Play Is Like Just Adding Something.. >>> Like More Detail.. Or Sum Shit Like A Coincedence.. Or Something .... Like Whatever Comes 2 Ur Head When U Say A Word ..

[sabinnchung]

^ ok

here's another verse

angel of death, rising from the ashes
taking ya breath, trying to cash in
making up debt, fighting bastards kin
hating on rent, as i'm eyeing the gin
faggits hate, money, i bag it fake
masks n paint, honey, i trash the hate
wanna try n run but its too late
like false starts you're only a flake
in the tube, coke hanging like drapes
fuck falopian tubes, banging like apes
see light pass by in the blink of an eye
say we can't rap, this chink is a suprise
got everybody stuck on me like vulcrow
the day that i die, the day hell grows
wanna hate, but i got your numbers
camoflauge like reptiles ya'll get nummer

everyone wants to fuck with the devil
until they see the pick axe n shovel
wanna square dance but you limp
wanna fuck with echos but you ain't sing

illumanati trying to clone me at any cost
human bodys, drones kill, many lost
execute them for treason against me
try n tell the truth, but i'm already bent b
country never heard of me, untill now
i've been around since the cannibals clown
i'm the reason earth is only a few billion years old
i don't hate or love, but i do fear being old
let your blood trench your spreadsheets
let the guts bend over ya babys letters g
more dangerous then you ass can conceive
put your ass in a canister to erode n relieve
you get no props in hip-hop like gay men
get buried in famine like african made men
when its over ship your ass to the river of stix
got you so cold, ice ages shiver pricks

everyone wants to fuck with the devil
until they see the pick axe n shovel
wanna square dance but you limp
wanna fuck with echos but you ain't sing

anyone who challenges me may die or live
but i warn thee that god sins n forgives
gotta ego on your hand like hades
i take care of that so you outta hate me
i live life stragling death, an atheists
you a jew, i'm not only your king n prince
but i got you on lockdown like palestine
where no sun shines n where everybody dies
hate me like nas n puffy combs
i just laugh n eat haters like honey combs
lounging on the devil's throne
not concerned when the devil is thrown
at my feet where read the name
the boy with dreams n led in vein
didn't think it was real often
but finally read the name on the coffin

[sabinnchung]

can i get alittle critisizm?

occupied by pitty things, then i occupy shitty rythms
just to impress people with my flow, fightn gritty systems
getting the last laugh, bone to ash, flow to cash
ask will i ever run out of things, i say hell no pretty fast
why the fuck you go home and have bad dreams
the scab seems to heal fast for a scared pussy
think i'm not from the ghetto i can't rap
got many so called mc's guzzling spits i'm known to drop
you kids grimey? i send you shit to where time be
when your looking at yourself in the mirror
ask your self if you fear her, the virgin mary, yea her
i dare you tell the truth or fuckin dare me
shoot you with an ion beam then upon g's i bond peices
smoking fakers n flakers to resin, you ain't a con b
unturned by public humiliation, cussing preperating
without shape or signature tear human underlings
if you don't mind i'd like to share a peice of my mind
peices of mankind here n there till your free'd from crime

keystyle....

[sabinnchung]

stranglin hoes wit infinit banging holds
got these punks on the run like sonic slanging coke
too hot to handle, crews get on mantles
ya'll weaker then hachoo n chants bruh
wearing the belt, but ain't sharing the wealth
got you on me like comparing with the rest
whats that? fuck that i got lyrics that fucks up rats
i got the cheese ask my mom, got chedder, lucky i am brat
for crying outloud ya'll gimmicks on the run
ya'll think ya'll crushin like big pun
but really ya'll snap crackle n pop like my brek-fast
bricks land on your grill like braces, specs, n rags
i'm spiitin man, your the equivalent of lint in soda cans
you ain't hova man so move man on your land
blow brains n hooks, hoes lamer then books
faster then cheetahs, nastier then cheaters n crows aimin on you crook

just working on ryhme scheme

i know its simple

[sabinnchung]

i'm tryin' to creep but the skeletons holding the key
"ain't your home boy," what i tellin' hoes n' feens
straight up n down, this kids the nicest
left to right, spits i bring the ice-ist
wrap the revolution 'round yo neck like glaciers
trap evolution clowns for tryn' to check this pace, ya heard
other then the fact other kats be the worst
i bring yo mother to smother in bats, i be the curse
hit your pockets like hands on subways
got more guns then the taliban on a good day
always told not to fuck around with others feelings
but i'm gonna rect when i'm drownin in others treason
take the car n go a buck fifty
driving off the highway, lucks acting sorta bitchy
got everyone from Hussein to the insane going nuts over my ryhmes
i'd say don't freak out, but i know the pain makes kats go nutty over time
punks are all over my dick like its a bad hobby
the god's don't fuck around, like a scab on bobby
buck wild like a dance move
how you supposed to be bad when you can't even shoot
i got the block on lock down like putting away lego's
got you trembling in your boots like shutting up your hero
napsack filled with the shit i need, yes indeed
a nick bag of weed plus some coke for the feens
in 1987 couldn't wait to start bustin'
you'd think by now i wouldn't care for cussin
but i go bleep you n motherbleep
rollin deep, crews lose another peice
cuz i roll like the army, side by side, never losing
infrared dots got my clever while shootin'
represent the ct heads like connecting telephones
i'm not bad, but i'm protecting hell's growth
you know where to find me if you ever need me
just follow the path, n sick knee deep
on the spike like sub-zero
pussy, a pugs your hero
me n you kid, thats pathetic
its like comparing pea's to ice cream to little shits

[andrem]

Yo I spit rattlesnake venom, the battles already won
When I splatter your matter atop a platinum platter with a Gatling gun
Your life’s done, if you lack a lyrical tongue you left hung
Then awake in the body of a chicken with your neck wrung
Your plan is foiled coiled in a boa constrictor’s toils
Foolish mortal you spit shit like a child that’s spoiled
I’m stone cold, like artic subsoil
But my spit boils like gargoyles gargling hot oil

My inner ki, summons valkyries,
That cast thou from high balconies,
Foreign galaxies, receive casualties,
Sending warriors to earth who try and abolish me,
My mind and soul in a state of ataraxy,
I remove aliens’ knees from they gi’s in this theomachy
And those who have not ran from me
Will witness the horrific vision of a theranthropy

[sabinnchung]

feels like my brains being PASSED LIKE A CIGARETTE
love letters got me GASSED LIKE AN ILLITERATE
wanna riot, but the MASSES AIN'T GIVIN A SHIT
veils covering my emotions, like MASKS KID
avoiding all the bad situations, JUSS AIN'T WORKING
wanna be a murderer, bang bang, BUT AIN'T RAPED NOTHING
rolling the joints on yo face getting arthritis, FOR EVERY STAKE
wanna whine like oh POOR ME, I HATE
wanna blaze a pound to DEPRESS THE DEPRESSION
all i want for christmas is to CARESS THE PRESIDENTS
if i'm on yo bad list, THEN FUCK U
on yo good list, WELL, FUCK YOU TOO
the content ain't MATCHING WITH THE FACES
but what does is the MATCHES OF RAGE
i be creepin in yo girl's PANTS LIKE A CATERPILLAR
i know i want to RANT BUT RATHER FILL HER
i never play around, just TOO SERIOUS
if i were to be accepted by a CREW THEY MUST BE DELIRIOUS
but ain't no gimmicks or tricks here, i'm RAMBO
can shoot all u want, still ain't a MAN THO
i be spitten germs like HACHOO
be stichen yo skin like a TATTOO
any second now, might go delirous like DAVE CHAPELLE
don't wanna get slapped, but GAVE HER THE CELL
numbers all over, SHE DIDN'T GOT A CLUE
death all around but SHE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN THE NEWS
is this SURREAL? whatever it is just got TA DEAL WITH THINGS
don't wanna cheat, but ASS APPEAL, MASS FEELINGS
if i wanna go LOCO i'd just go n FLOW HOE
kids always spitten the truth, GO HOME
too many hits not to be HERE
cussing out my ass, being pulled by the EAR
going knee deep like the DINOSAURS
if i were to speak the truth, well damn, there GO'S THE WORLD

[BlaK FuRYaN]

feels like my brains being PASSED LIKE A CIGARETTE
love letters got me GASSED LIKE AN ILLITERATE
wanna riot, but the MASSES AIN'T GIVIN A SHIT
veils covering my emotions, like MASKS KID
avoiding all the bad situations, JUSS AIN'T WORKING
wanna be a murderer, bang bang, BUT AIN'T RAPED NOTHING
rolling the joints on yo face getting arthritis, FOR EVERY STAKE
wanna whine like oh POOR ME, I HATE
wanna blaze a pound to DEPRESS THE DEPRESSION
all i want for christmas is to CARESS THE PRESIDENTS
if i'm on yo bad list, THEN FUCK U
on yo good list, WELL, FUCK YOU TOO
the content ain't MATCHING WITH THE FACES
but what does is the MATCHES OF RAGE
i be creepin in yo girl's PANTS LIKE A CATERPILLAR
i know i want to RANT BUT RATHER FILL HER
i never play around, just TOO SERIOUS
if i were to be accepted by a CREW THEY MUST BE DELIRIOUS
but ain't no gimmicks or tricks here, i'm RAMBO
can shoot all u want, still ain't a MAN THO
i be spitten germs like HACHOO
be stichen yo skin like a TATTOO
any second now, might go delirous like DAVE CHAPELLE
don't wanna get slapped, but GAVE HER THE CELL
numbers all over, SHE DIDN'T GOT A CLUE
death all around but SHE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN THE NEWS
is this SURREAL? whatever it is just got TA DEAL WITH THINGS
don't wanna cheat, but ASS APPEAL, MASS FEELINGS
if i wanna go LOCO i'd just go n FLOW HOE
kids always spitten the truth, GO HOME
too many hits not to be HERE
cussing out my ass, being pulled by the EAR
going knee deep like the DINOSAURS
if i were to speak the truth, well damn, there GO'S THE WORLD

what i like most about this piece is the way you structured it for the flow...decent still...
I think this would sound good on Audio too...

peace

[sabinnchung]

note: no1 actually shot up my school, just expressing feelings i had

there was a kid in my school
always talking 'bout how columbine was cool
heart always grew colder
didn't matter who's house he was over
never gave a shit 'bout his life or others
when he was 8, he shot his mother
his father hit him till his back cracked
in the hospital, contiplating how to get back at his dad
always tryin' to help himself in bed
was raped at an early age, dramatized this sped
was always told sorry by his dad in physical therapy
never gave a damn, believed in heresy
dad went to jail in the process of healing
killed by a stealth assasin, hurt his feelings
screamed at the nurses "shut the fuck up"
living life with his fingers up
felt strong when he held the gat
the pain of others, he never felt that
so he traveled to school, making phone calls
when the flow falls
thats when he'll start wettin' kids
saw the bully, but he started to sweat, "shit"
knocked on the gat like a door
then pulled it out, knock, knock hit the floor
screaming out his mind
dreaming of his own kind
the suicidal type
the victims twisted minds
not pretending to be afraid
all they could mention was the kids brains
laying on the floor, news reporters asking why
but like 9/11, the smoke masks the lie's

[sabinnchung]

when i slay in satans name there ain't no justification
swearing to God's name in vein, so fuck religious education
when you live life strangling death there ain't no inner peace
digging for gold n diamonds in the mines getting shot for a thin peice
first kiss was under a mistle toe, so fuck you myth busters
fuck a gun, ask Generals of old, killed by a pick Custard
knives so much bloodier n prettier, i love the taste
no undelings allowed so i shove that race
been rocking the mic since i was born, the devils spawn
i been through the fire of hell n heavens light so fuck being a simple pawn
revalations are planted in microchips, hype flows n shit
got the planet of earth on lockdown, typed flows prick
i got the planets revolviong around earth like the old times
this ain't poker so don't ask me to fold mine
i got ryhmes for days, so call this the immortal technique
sooner or later the tek'll find you, inf red the portal for teks feen
trumpets are sounded, pumpin' the clowns kin
i got the issues of the world in my palm, all while drunk still drinkin'
the aroma is over your soul so don't run or hide
the coma's creepin so don't pun or try
you'll never be better then me, i climb perescope depth
i climbed mount everest in millisecond, i find weird markings all over my friend
so is this a sign of aliens or a sign of death
who the hell wants to rekindle the matter when it wastes every breath
you can't tag out, i got punches faster then the speed of light
fuck your clout, i go at the even spped of a fight