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Thread: Planets Collide

  1. #1
    The ABBOTT noel411's Avatar
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    Default Planets Collide

    In the depths of the mind is that old burning flame
    spurning change as acceptance adjourns, turns to blame
    there's forces at work causing evil to lurk
    in the course of their work causing people to skirt
    around major issues and we now guage the misuse
    by control of temperament and what you'll do when rages hit you
    rising from the shadows is a wise advising spirit
    in your eyes it is disguised by the lies with which you steer it
    planets collide as your fallacies die
    evil emerges as your callous greed slides
    favour goes to those from the dark side
    they savour a dose of what mostly dark hides
    spirits rise and return to their home
    return to the throne while you burn all alone
    your thin disguise is no firmer than foam
    it burns with your bones while the rest turns to stone

    The wailing cry of a life on the line
    could change it all like a knife on the spine
    your fateful fall was the height of your crimes
    in a hateful scrawl you write the design
    arteries and veins to the heart, a ceaseless chain
    darting through the draft but it's so hard to ease the pain
    congestion too much, it must be rush hour
    testing your luck, a brush with such power
    the ultimate test for your stressed mortality
    a soul in distress and the rest formality
    angels descend as you enter a place
    where the change will depend on who's been renting your space
    clouds of white try to re-direct your life
    but it's out of sight as they weave dissecting knives
    your soul looks on and awaits the next stage
    this old book's long, now create the next page
    angels reveal their benevolent presence
    arranging the deal, you ascend to the heavens.

  2. #2
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Father N Dangerous's Avatar
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    This whole piece was dope. Not going to lie. It was hot, great vocab, flow was definetly there. Structure wasnt perfect but it wasnt far off either. Really enjoyed this piece. Great multi usage through out the whole thing as well.

    planets collide as your fallacies die
    evil emerges as your callous greed slides
    favour goes to those from the dark side
    they savour a dose of what mostly dark hides

    Favorite line^^^

    Another good one

    In the depths of the mind is that old burning flame
    spurning change as acceptance adjourns, turns to blame
    Last edited by Father N Dangerous; 07-17-2016 at 01:19 AM.
    My skills punish, you untill ya grills rubbish, make ya cry like peeled onions More electrifying. Then a eels touch is, got a girl thats real luscious Eat these rappers for real like sealed lunches More bad ass than a navy seals gun is
    More fly then everybody that wields luggage
    Im the beer clutchin career crushin fear nothin fierce one with...sheers cuttin blood spills gushin no need to worry bout the wounds cuz u wont heal from it

  3. #3
    The ABBOTT noel411's Avatar
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    Thanks dude. I appreciate it. I actually wrote this one a little while ago and just thought I'd post it up.

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