Becoming thy worshipped FATASS

**MENES** · 09-20-2017, 03:07 PM

to prelude this post ; I was the average Colombian/Canadian womanizer. 5'9 160lbs 22 years old, Warehouse Job for the government slanging poison to the populace [ booze ]. Didn't work to hard but it was my main form of exercise other then dickin' down hoes.

fast forward 5 year ; on my way home from the sweatshop of broken dreams I was crushed by a drunk driver going 140km on a 60km road. His bitchass rear end crumpled my hatchback so my trunk was in my backseat. If anyone was back there, they would of been dead fo shosho. Got knocked out on my steering wheel and ended up fracturing a piece of my lumbar spine. No word of a lie, I was out for like 5 seconds and woke up skidding across the road like a cuckboarder, but in that 5 seconds I saw that scene from the matrix where NEO wakes up in those fucking CAPSULES nekkid, full of robotic womb juice, then gets sucked down to wherever the fuck he goes . It was a momentary VEIL lifting, shit was ill. I couldn't breath for awhile after, I thought my organs was blown. The faggit fell asleep at the wheel driving his vegetarian girlfriend home cause she was "too drunk". Pickled ass bitch.

fast forward again about 2 years since accident [ now 29 ]... yo, Im packing mad hamburger helper. just round as FUCK. My face and shit still slimmeth but yo my stomach be like a hippo baby in some TSA shorts. And shitty drivers still run my adrenaline / anxiety high. And theres lots of these fuckboys out there. Im much quicker to wanting ta stomp the life outta people now. Its no good.

Anyways Ive been THOROUGHLY enjoying being fat. I never was over 160, I literally hovered within 2lbs since high school daze. I'm now steadypacking heat at 210, overpowering bird chested cucks like I was Hercules. No muscle gain, just pure weight momentum. I feel like the world treats you different. I can't really explain it unless you've been there, but Food taste better and your looked at with more disgust. Its enlightening. Most hot thots don't give a funk though.

However Its been like a year and a half and I'm over it, I feel a lot closer to dying now, cause heart disease and diabooties runs in my fam. Ive been on a steady diet of Avocados and fucking Celery. Still haven't brought myself to more exercise then walking up and down some stairs and pushing a gas pedal. But I'm already down 8 lbs in 2 weeks. Fuck people with no self control and can't loose weight cause they have an "addiction". That shit is based. I'll probably plateu and relapse, but Im somewhat on my way ordering HELLO FRESH boxes and hitting it from the fetal till i get meat sweats.

Whats up yo? Who else has enjoyed a bout of OBESITY for the sake of science.

**Rev Jones** · 09-20-2017, 03:12 PM

8lbs in 2 weeks is good mang

keep that ish going

we have heart disease in the fam too. I have a history of fluctuating weight of 40 lbs max. Atm I'm good. My bottom weight was 100 lbs. (for reference I'm 5'8")

as I was saying you're doing well, making the right choices for sure

**noel411** · 09-20-2017, 05:08 PM

Lolz being fat is entirely unacceptable but post was funny. Good u're doing something about it n totally agree peeps who have no self control, discipline, or will power r pathetic cucks not worthy of life.

The only way I could get fat is if I broke both legs or my spine or something. It's my nature to b extremely active. I absolutely cannot stand spending a day indoors. Couldn't do it unless it's pissing down non stop or something. N even then I'll still have a dumbbell workout n hit up the punching bag.

But I'm outside surfing, bike riding, walking, swimming for several hours every day. Plus I'm a very active gumshoe slurpee clerk. I run around filling fridges and shit a lot during my shifts.

Fuck lazy fat cunts. I can't relate to or accept them at all. Only thyme I was ever a chubby little cunt was when I was about 12-13. Just my body changing n shit. Then I started skating every day n have been a finely chiseled Adonis since.

' · 09-21-2017, 12:20 AM

I was just reading about Tom Brady's diet.

https://www.boston.com/news/new-engl...o-his-new-book

' · 09-21-2017, 12:40 AM

Although it's easy to say "I'm gonna eat like Tom Brady" when he has an entire team of professionals dedicated to his personal health, a private chef, and someone who delivers groceries. Pro athletes at that level are like toddlers that get scolded if they don't stick to the meal plan.

**Mister Yo** · 09-24-2017, 12:27 PM

Tom Brady is the GOAT.

and noels physique is stunning very god like indeed... no homo.

crazy story though, not even thirty and you wanna die? i guess i can sometimes relate. but being over weight is never a good look.

theres some big ass dude i grew up with thats a couple years older than me and everyone calls him "Buddha" cause hes huge. we were freestyling one night and i was rapping about fucking bitches in the bar and he said that all i do is listen to Wiki and im like i dont fuck around with him ive heard of him before but i dont listen to him, im Mister Yo, you fucking grew up with me and you cant even listen to my albums to distinguish who the fuck i am AND you think your some type of Wu Tang super fan cause you got a tattoo, your corny and emotionally unstable, go half ass sew on another iron on patch on your stupid little hemp vest. and he just kept repeating that i was ripping Wiki and it went back and forth long story short he wanted to "fight me" so we went outside.

i took my shirt off ready to fight and he just kept saying "hit me hit me" over and over again but wouldnt get close to me i kept moving in and out like Floyd Maryweather. i was just like thats exactly what you want but in reality i wouldnt have been able to land a head shot cause he was way taller than me and his fat like would have made it impossible for me to reach his head and get a good hit. so i just stayed on the move and kept an eye on my surroundings until i got bored and other people started saying that i was the aggressor. all because i had my shirt off and was moving like a trained fighter. smh.

another buddy of mine that was just walking into the bar got in between us and i just went back inside after that. he kept provoking me and once he got back inside decided to get right in my face to the point his straggly ass scarecrow beard was touching my face and make a scene. i said where was this outside you attention seeking whore get out of my face. i aint friends with you anymore. and still everyone thinks this was all my fault and the one bartender doesnt like me anymore cause of it.

tldr i hate fat people.

**noel411** · 09-24-2017, 05:57 PM

^hahahahahaha!!! We need more Mister Yo stories on here. Fucken hilarious.

**Dooch** · 09-24-2017, 07:39 PM

I actually took the time to read that one and it was decent, I chuckled out loud.

I can just imagine the nasty rust belt bar it took place in. I'm imagining a real steel town PA type of dank pit where laid off mill workers are forced to drink alongside rust baby rappers because they still have genessee on tap for a buck.

' · 09-24-2017, 08:15 PM

Lol "Rust Baby Rappers"

TSA is gonna hate you for that innovative slang, made up on the fly.

**Dooch** · 09-24-2017, 08:20 PM

I expect he's too busy workin to care, going off what scru face divulged.

**Mister Yo** · 09-24-2017, 09:21 PM

hahahahah

mill workers? more like functioning working meth head members of society. lolz.

i get a lot of support from the lcoals as i should. conversed with two lesbos (one was married) about Mister Yo and gave em an album last night as they proceeded to ask what my shirt meant... "what is eight fourteen hardcore" i said ahhh where are you from? thats our area code dumb dyke. but by the end of the convo they wanted to take me home. i had to politely decline.

and brah we got Yuengling on tap as well as Bud Light and Budweiser but i stay away from those until we tap the Yuengling. which happens more than it should hahahah. but thats all we got on draft.

gennesee, hahah smh.