01.01.2021
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Thread: Playboy TV is effin hilarious

  1. #1

    Cool Playboy TV is effin hilarious

    quick Adventures In Pornland recap - get ready for some TMI

    * my eyesight has been going sideways since the summer so since investing in new glasses was too hefty an investment to start with I focused on life's essentials ...

    * I went from viewing free porn on my outdated Samsung mobile's small screen to taking a porn subscription on my 33 inch ... budget tv screen

    * for the first time I am enjoying the Gentleman's Pleasure of viewing Playboy TV, Penthouse Passion, Hustler HD (currently broadcasting 'Wife forced me to be a cuck'), Penthouse Gold, Dorcel TV and a WHOPPING menu of straight to DVD/pay tv flicks CharlesJones wouldn't dare watch. 80% of those flicKKKs are local and a special kind of hilarious. the girls are superugly, and not in the way Dre and that Nocturnal guy with the funny spelling meant


    Eh ... I was gonna discuss Playboy TV. Not saying I had high hopes going IN but tbh I thought they were gonna show some clips of HUGE Heffner reading out erotic stories by the hearth, w/ the scenes being enacted by buxom blondes w/ 80s hair.

    No such luck.

    Apparently the bunnyman crew are based in Kiev, Ukraine. Endless photoshoots of slightly underweight brunette models with a heavy accent. they wear XL sun glasses and mostly just that.

    There's also a topless Communist Cunt lookalike who's followed on his Eastern European travels as he shoots models. The camera mostly focuses on his abs. I guess the gay crowd is being served too #synergy

    Seems they're looking to steal the dad bod National Geographic audience too w/ shows called Seesons (80% landscapes, 20% womenz, 0% of my Proud Boy standing by Sir) and European Roadtrip (80% dirt roads, 20% womenz and 0% well you get the idea)

    The 'A Day In The Life' segments are best viewed with your eyes closed as the ladies speaking sound dyslexic and out of breath, pronouncing.their.words.one.by.one.with.you.know.l ong.pauses.in.between.

    'Hi ... my ... name ... Katia ... Today ... I ... am ... telling ... you ... bout ... my ... life ... I ... been ... to ... many ... places ... already ... Croatia ... Serbia ... Greece ... US!'

    'I ... also ... like ... moving ... in ... the ... shower ... listening ... good ... music ... same ... time' (Film shows girl slowmo dancing in the shower supposedly singing into her bottle of shower gel.)

    Ah yes, simply wonderful!

    The tacky American reality shows ('Swingers') don't hold a candle to the wordless arthouse cinema shorts they randomly throw at you at all hours. You'll be seeing some naked ballerina ... ballerineering. Or they have some lady slow dancing nekkid w/ Mr T's chain assortment on. Soothing.

    At this very moment I'm watching a naked lady slicing strawberries and pouring out some yoghurt - in a bowl of course

    If it were up to my aesthetic ideals I'd have this channel on 24/7 but I have to get my wanker's worth out of the other porn channels too. The best part was when the Euro Porn Sat was experiencing cosmic radiation difficulties 2 days ago and I was watching the old in and out heavily pixelated in truev80s Mario and Luigi (yes homo?) style. Felt like I was 15 again.


    Oh right, almost forgot to mention. Had to go to the optometrist yesterday after all, traffic was getting slightly tricky. $750 for new glasses for middle aged farts. Keeping the porn subscription though!


    $100 says somebody's gonna comment on how to CAST porn from your mobile device / tablet / laptop / Chromebook / desktop / calculator to your tv set.
    Retired.

  2. #2
    'The Fourhorsemen' TSA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hal Incandenza View Post
    quick Adventures In Pornland recap - get ready for some TMI

    * my eyesight has been going sideways since the summer so since investing in new glasses was too hefty an investment to start with I focused on life's essentials ...

    * I went from viewing free porn on my outdated Samsung mobile's small screen to taking a porn subscription on my 33 inch ... budget tv screen

    * for the first time I am enjoying the Gentleman's Pleasure of viewing Playboy TV, Penthouse Passion, Hustler HD (currently broadcasting 'Wife forced me to be a cuck'), Penthouse Gold, Dorcel TV and a WHOPPING menu of straight to DVD/pay tv flicks CharlesJones wouldn't dare watch. 80% of those flicKKKs are local and a special kind of hilarious. the girls are superugly, and not in the way Dre and that Nocturnal guy with the funny spelling meant


    Eh ... I was gonna discuss Playboy TV. Not saying I had high hopes going IN but tbh I thought they were gonna show some clips of HUGE Heffner reading out erotic stories by the hearth, w/ the scenes being enacted by buxom blondes w/ 80s hair.

    No such luck.

    Apparently the bunnyman crew are based in Kiev, Ukraine. Endless photoshoots of slightly underweight brunette models with a heavy accent. they wear XL sun glasses and mostly just that.

    There's also a topless Communist Cunt lookalike who's followed on his Eastern European travels as he shoots models. The camera mostly focuses on his abs. I guess the gay crowd is being served too #synergy

    Seems they're looking to steal the dad bod National Geographic audience too w/ shows called Seesons (80% landscapes, 20% womenz, 0% of my Proud Boy standing by Sir) and European Roadtrip (80% dirt roads, 20% womenz and 0% well you get the idea)

    The 'A Day In The Life' segments are best viewed with your eyes closed as the ladies speaking sound dyslexic and out of breath, pronouncing.their.words.one.by.one.with.you.know.l ong.pauses.in.between.

    'Hi ... my ... name ... Katia ... Today ... I ... am ... telling ... you ... bout ... my ... life ... I ... been ... to ... many ... places ... already ... Croatia ... Serbia ... Greece ... US!'

    'I ... also ... like ... moving ... in ... the ... shower ... listening ... good ... music ... same ... time' (Film shows girl slowmo dancing in the shower supposedly singing into her bottle of shower gel.)

    Ah yes, simply wonderful!

    The tacky American reality shows ('Swingers') don't hold a candle to the wordless arthouse cinema shorts they randomly throw at you at all hours. You'll be seeing some naked ballerina ... ballerineering. Or they have some lady slow dancing nekkid w/ Mr T's chain assortment on. Soothing.

    At this very moment I'm watching a naked lady slicing strawberries and pouring out some yoghurt - in a bowl of course

    If it were up to my aesthetic ideals I'd have this channel on 24/7 but I have to get my wanker's worth out of the other porn channels too. The best part was when the Euro Porn Sat was experiencing cosmic radiation difficulties 2 days ago and I was watching the old in and out heavily pixelated in truev80s Mario and Luigi (yes homo?) style. Felt like I was 15 again.


    Oh right, almost forgot to mention. Had to go to the optometrist yesterday after all, traffic was getting slightly tricky. $750 for new glasses for middle aged farts. Keeping the porn subscription though!


    $100 says somebody's gonna comment on how to CAST porn from your mobile device / tablet / laptop / Chromebook / desktop / calculator to your tv set.

    couldn't finish this due to the gay energy but yeah i agree the girls they cast for the 'professional' ones are absolutely busted and it's a miserable shame that they are that serious about their otherwise goofy job. I thought the ones where they're naked then just eff were the standard but I guess those (gonzo) are like the low brow joints? Which is stupid because they're better by all ramifications. I couldn't imagine paying all of the 'cast members' and renting sents and doing all that nonsense when the ppl making the most money are on onlyfans or in a fake bus.


    my wife and I accidently had showtime for way too long. I subbed to see the wutang doc and it took months to cancel. They show the type of lame ass shit you're mentioning so we would watch recreationally. I couldn't imagine smacking by goat to any of that because they literally use the same position sequence and most definitely aren't actually having sex.

    Hugh hefner is also a shit person so a channel dedicated to his self delusion as closeted homo sexuality would be a real drag.


    I'm over conventional porn unless it's amateur.

  3. #3

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    The Greatest Playboy of Our Lifetime is Donald J. Trump.

  4. #4
    'The Fourhorsemen' TSA's Avatar
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    You guys have to find something else to talk about lol, jesus. We get it

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Seer View Post
    Remember that time Trump destroyed Rosie in front of the entire planet, and now she lives out her remaining days in complete devastation taking Skampoe-style selfies?


    She could do with a knewcheeze FAST. At this point knewcheeze's diet and shem hotep themed FB page gets more hits than both Ellen's puzzay and her socials. I hate it when people used the word socials btw.

    *PROPS* to Ellen for the bang in the second pic though. The comb over on her is STRONK. 9 out of 10 on the Hal Scale of V-necks and Wavey Hair.
    Retired.

  6. #6

    Default

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

    Shit is like salt petre

    The cure for viagra overdose.
    -----------------------

    PATIENT: Hello? 911? I overdosed on viagra. My dick's been hard for 24 hours and my balls are blue and about to fall off. Help!

    E911 Dispatcher: An ambulance is on their way. Put your balls on ice.

    *doorbell rings*

    Patient opens door

    E911 paramedics enter

    E911 Paramedics show Patient picture of Rosie McDonell


    Patient: Aaahhhhhhhhh What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!?!?!?

    *dick goes limp*

    E911 Paramedic 1: Our job here is done. Let's go.

  7. #7
    Gehoxagogen ShaDynasty's Avatar
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    What the fuck is going on with you guys. Hal posts a porn thread and you respond with Rosie O Donell selfies.

    You guys are atrocious. It's over Jonny.

  8. #8

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    Oh that's Rosie not Ellen ... lol damn, I need to up my 50+ lesbo celebrity game.


    And yeah, here I was thinking PORN was gonna save us ...

    Guess we're stuck w/ flaccid P syndrome round here

    Excuse me as I tune in to some BAFTA winning BBC teen drama to calm my nerves and ponder the condition humaine.

    Retired.

  9. #9

    Default

    ShaDynasty and Hal come to thread to jerk off

    ShaDynasty and Hal leave thread angry and flaccid.

    LOL best thread hijacking ever

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Seer View Post





    Spooky
    Why pay for Playboy TV when I can have ^^these for free?

    My Johnson thanks you.
    Retired.

  11. #11

    Default

    Rosie and Trump should make a porno together?

  12. #12

    Default

    *reminisces over Nailin Palin*
    Retired.

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