Quote Originally Posted by Hal Incandenza View Post
On the subject of being a provider, by chance most of the women I've been with earned more than I did. We never pooled incomes though.

I remember one woman getting upset when I went from full time work to 17 out of 20 official working hours. The relationship was getting intense (at that point we'd been together for a year and a half) and I'd had some health issues, and I thought I could do with a breather by slowing down on work. In fact the lighter work load was obligatory (medical reasons).

She was absolutely LIVID when she found out I was no longer going to be working full time hahaha. It was interesting because she was a relatively big earner, I'd say around $1,000 or upwards more than my wage (monthly), and she was upset not because I was gonna bring less money to the table (like I said I never pooled income with partners) but because I DARED to slow down in the work department. "How are you gonna slow down now already when we don't even have kids yet?" I was too dumb to understand then but looking back now that convo right there could have taught me a lot about myself and why my outlook on both money spending and relationships isn't gonna play well in traditional (?) relationships.

I will say that my actual income never played a part in how partners viewed me (at least not that I've been aware of), unlike how their parents viewed me. God, I detest in-laws, but not as much as they detested me lel.

I've learned that women process the idea of income radically different from men. It doesn't mean the same thing to them the way sex doesn't mean the same thing. The modern world puts pressure on both sides to pretend it's not there but it's more hardwired than the programming is willing to acknowledge and thus hasn't been effectively 'shaken off'. That's why I was saying it's smarter to buy a house etc then have a women move in, even if she makes more, from my observation. Women are always going to want you to be the one that makes shit happen and for the most part have a low opinion of themselves. So if you're doing something with them equally, then they'll have a low opinion of you too lol. Even if they pretend that isn't the case, in the back of their head they're thinking 'I'll eventually get this fool to make more money', so I can see how not wanting to work as much would shatter the matrix. Men really fuck themselves over with that 50/50 shit. We think it makes sense because we're raised to think women are men with boobs but that's not what it is. Women are too inconsistent to be 50/50 about anything. If she makes more I'd still try to be the one paying the fundamental shit so that you're not negotiating everything else in your life which will be fucking lame.

I'm not a guru or anything but somethings become obvious once you're married that you can't see otherwise.