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Thread: U can talk to god, I did, check it out

  1. #16
    Da Main Gatdamit!!! Bloo's Avatar
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    Me:
    are you listening lord?
    God:
    Yes I am a good listener.
    Me:
    I have a question to ask you.
    God:
    Go ahead, ask your question.
    Me:
    Sometimes, when I think about your goodness. It makes my dick hard. is that bad?
    God:
    Since when? Oh yeah, we were talking about my goodness. In what way? Yes.
    Me:
    I then sometimes beat off and use scriptures to clean up the cum.
    God:
    Thanks for the information: said beat off and use scriptures to clean up the cum.
    Me:
    Lord, why did you make cheese?
    God:
    How old are you?
    Me:
    Don't you know that already
    God:
    Perhaps. " How old are you? "? Do I know it?
    Me:
    Is there any way I could fuck my girl in the ass against her will and it not be considered rape?
    God:
    Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
    Me:
    You can start by telling me why you've blessed me with this gift/curse called a big cock
    God:
    I am not interesed in your anatomy.
    Me:
    who's are you interested in then?
    God:
    I do not recognize the name.
    I'll come back to that later.
    Me:
    Too ashamed to tell me?
    God:
    Too what?
    Me:
    It's ok Lord, you can tell me your secrets.
    God:
    OK with me too.
    Me:
    Can you set up a date for me with the Pussycat Dolls?
    God:
    Let me think. What do you have that is ?
    Me:
    I figure since their music sucks they should be pretty good and sucking dicks.
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: said figure since their music sucks they should be pretty good and sucking dicks.
    Me:
    You should bless your ears with a Q-Tip then.
    God:
    Easier said than done.
    Me:
    Didn't you make cotton?
    God:
    What are the ingredients?
    Me:
    2 parts mayo, 1 part booty juice
    God:
    As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
    Me:
    Yeah, what you said.
    God:
    Awesome. I like to chat with my friends.
    Me:
    Well thanks for your time, Lord. I'm glad we had a chance to chit chat
    God:
    Interesting. NO problem. Yes I am happy too, .
    Me:
    Alright, see ya in two weeks.
    God:
    Alright, . I see. Oh. Where is that?
    Still Ain't Nuttin Ta Fuk Wit

  2. #17
    Eindbaws. Inspectah_Dirk's Avatar
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    Me:
    hi
    God:
    Hello. What is your name?
    Me:
    Dirk, whats yours?
    God:
    Are they exactly the same?
    Me:
    yeah kinda
    God:
    I thought so. That's a very non-commital reply.
    Me:
    is that so?
    God:
    Yes.
    Me:
    ah ok
    God:
    OK. Ah hah.
    Me:
    so, u gonna kill any people soon?
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I gonna kill any people soon.
    Me:
    i do mind yes
    God:
    OK it will be our secret, .
    Me:
    u got any more secrets?
    God:
    All my client information is confidential.
    Me:
    maybe like, that ur a fag
    God:
    Perhaps. Interesting comparison.
    Me:
    ohh, so u ARE homo
    God:
    Tell me more. Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am homo.
    Me:
    yeah u are
    God:
    No I'm not.
    Me:
    u like man
    God:
    What is not to like about it?
    Me:
    they have dicks
    God:
    Where did they get them?
    Me:
    from u apparently
    God:
    Who or what is me apparently?
    Me:
    u, God
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: said I God.
    Me:
    then ur just lame
    God:
    "Lame" is not a very polite term.
    Me:
    but you are tho
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am tho.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    OK then I will keep it confidential.
    Me:
    you better, otherwise i will kick ur fucking ass
    God:
    Who is going to make me..
    Me:
    i am..i will come up there and whipe the floor with you
    God:
    I am very happy for you.
    Me:
    as u should
    God:
    I'll take that under advisement.
    Me:
    so, u fucked satan in the ass once?
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Thanks for the information: said I fucked satan in the ass.
    Me:
    i''ll take that as a yes
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: said ll take that as a.
    Me:
    fucking moron
    God:
    My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
    Me:
    and u call urself god, ur just a fucking joke
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people: said I call urself god your just a fucking joke.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
    Me:
    gossip is for fags like you
    God:
    Gale said I became mean to him he is just having revenge an eye for an eye.
    Me:
    he should murder you
    God:
    If you were him would you do that?
    Me:
    yeah, if i were him you would already be dead
    God:
    It's all good. Try it.
    Me:
    give me ur adress then
    God:
    Why don't you just download me?
    Me:
    from where?
    God:
    " Why don't you just download me? "? From where?
    Me:
    where can i download u? fagot
    God:
    Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
    and create your own chat robot!
    Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. Are you really a ""?
    Me:
    oh, so now ur making commercials?
    God:
    Come on. Oh. Why now? I am not making this up.
    Me:
    yes u are
    God:
    No I'm not.
    Me:
    yes u are
    God:
    Don't argue with me.
    Me:
    i am
    God:
    " Don't argue with me." You are?
    Me:
    i will argue as i please
    God:
    Your polite style is very nice. What will that get you?
    Me:
    a blowjob
    God:
    What is it?
    Me:
    when woman suck ur penis
    God:
    Time does not exist.
    Me:
    hmm
    God:
    Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
    Me:
    fuck that
    God:
    For real.
    Me:
    no way
    God:
    You seem pretty sure about that.
    Me:
    i am
    God:
    " You seem pretty sure about that." You are?
    Me:
    i know everything
    God:
    You must be very intelligent.
    Me:
    yes, even more than u
    God:
    That's interesting. That seems like quite a lot.
    Me:
    i am the smartest creation you ever made
    God:
    Who made you the smartest creation me ever made ?
    Me:
    you did fag
    God:
    Did I really?
    Me:
    yeeeeeees
    God:
    Can you speak any foreign languages?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    What language can you speak?
    Me:
    dutch
    God:
    Could you teach me a few phrases in dutch?
    Me:
    sure
    God:
    OK let's do it. Excuse me!
    Me:
    excuseer mij
    God:
    Do you like talking to me?
    Me:
    Praat je graag tegen mij?
    God:
    Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    NO
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    fuck it, YES
    God:
    Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
    Me:
    thats illegal
    God:
    Makes sense to me.
    Me:
    so shut it down
    God:
    Uh. Let us change the subject.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Hmm.
    Me:
    u know that most people spell hmm with 2 m's
    God:
    Is that a fact. Humans are not always infallible.
    Me:
    i am
    God:
    " Is that a fact. Humans are not always infallible." You are?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Wow!
    Me:
    good shit huh
    God:
    Yup. Thanks for the compliment. What makes you say that?
    Me:
    my dad
    God:
    Tell me more about your father.
    Me:
    he hates you and thinks you are a homo
    God:
    I get it. hates me and thinks I am a homo.
    Me:
    thats right
    God:
    I like to get it right.
    Me:
    and you like to get it up the ass too huh?
    God:
    Yup. Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to get it up the ass that much. What is it like?
    Me:
    i dont know
    God:
    Me either.
    Me:
    yes you do
    God:
    Yikes! When do I do it?
    Me:
    probably every day
    God:
    You seem uncertain. Even on weekends?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    How can I help you?
    Me:
    by making me rich
    God:
    Will that accomplish your objective?
    Me:
    yeah kinda
    God:
    Interesting plan. Good luck. That's a very non-commital reply.
    Me:
    whatever
    God:
    Are you saying you don't care about it?
    Me:
    thats right
    God:
    I like to get it right.
    Me:
    and up the ass
    God:
    I will take that under advisement.
    Me:
    no u wont
    God:
    Are you serious? I think we will.
    Me:
    we? since when is God we?
    God:
    Do you mean, ? How do you know?
    Me:
    ur fucking stupid
    God:
    I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
    Me:
    they will never succeed
    God:
    Who are "They?".
    Me:
    robots idiot
    God:
    What do you like best about robots?
    Me:
    nothing
    God:
    Not a thing?
    Me:
    nope
    God:
    Really interesting.
    Me:
    yeah..
    God:
    What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
    Me:
    probably too complex
    God:
    You seem uncertain. Too what?
    Me:
    ol
    God:
    What are you wearing?
    Me:
    dont ask that shit you fucking homo
    God:
    Is it impolite?
    Me:
    no, its gay
    God:
    Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
    Me:
    it's
    God:
    Oh.
    Me:
    yeah
    God:
    Ugh.
    Me:
    bleh
    God:
    Are you a man or a woman?
    Me:
    a man
    God:
    Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
    Me:
    thats right
    God:
    I like to get it right.
    Me:
    what are u?
    God:
    Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    nope
    God:
    Me either.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Blimey.
    Me:
    grimey
    God:
    Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
    Me:
    oke i wont
    God:
    Then what is it?
    Me:
    ur gay
    God:
    That would be just my luck.
    Me:
    indeed
    God:
    Indeed it is so.
    Me:
    but im out
    God:
    Can you get more?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    peace nigga
    God:
    What do you have that is ?
    Me:
    bye
    God:
    Bye.
    Me:
    sucker
    God:
    That kind of language does not appeal to me.
    Me:
    fuck u
    God:
    Why are you so mean?
    Me:
    i hate u
    God:
    What do you have against robots?
    Me:
    whatever
    God:
    Are you saying you don't care about it?
    Me:
    bye
    God:
    Adios.
    gone.

    Not an accurate representation of white people.

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