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Thread: My hotness

  1. #1
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Father N Dangerous's Avatar
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    Default My hotness

    Trials and tribulations got me hopen for new inovations/
    Revolations become a #1 because of soul elimination/
    Hopen for a better life, rappen about the same subject every night/
    Gotta fight to survive, liven in the darkness with no light/


    ~SKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEERRRR~ NOW THE REAL SHIT...

    The grains of sand observe the pains of a man with indifference/
    When freefalling re-calling shameless plans of increments/
    An instant is defined by a second thats combined with a lesson/
    Time is perspective a seductive ocean, condutive lotion/
    Tastless, invites you to waste it, but sum obstruct the motion/
    An instrutive potion of enlightenment, thats heightened when/
    Innocence Nixes ignorance inside divine and righteous men/

    The past effects the mind, through deja vu, it's passed a second time/
    I have to press rewind, far away enough the track makes a U turn/
    but few learn from the relationship the past drapes the future/
    Flooded with cynical thoughts i release the first notion/
    and freeze the time by suspending the earths motion/
    A surge potent enough to tear the surfaces texture in a sense/
    Like weight is measured in pounds, time is mesured in events/
    Text words can't impress, so i'll help you invison this incertinty/
    A old timer has a short life, while a teen lives an eternity/
    it opens the next chapter and captures the bland design/
    that we can live long and leave our footprints on the sands of time/
    Draw it, it'll boost progression, and it will erase the proceedings/
    It's time to throw away my clocks and put faith back into my feelings/

    wat ya'll think?

  2. #2
    JOKER FAM Sicka than aidZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: My hotness

    its really good, i have a hard time concentrating...so i read half, its a dope drop, keep tearing shit up,.1
    "BACK TO FUKIN WERK 1 OF YOUR THREADZ JUST GOT DUSTED"

  3. #3
    Fuckin' Left
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    Default Re: My hotness

    Quote Originally Posted by White N Dangerous
    Trials and tribulations got me hopen for new inovations/
    Revolations become a #1 because of soul elimination/
    Hopen for a better life, rappen about the same subject every night/
    Gotta fight to survive, liven in the darkness with no light/


    ~SKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEERRRR~ NOW THE REAL SHIT...

    The grains of sand observe the pains of a man with indifference/
    When freefalling re-calling shameless plans of increments/
    An instant is defined by a second thats combined with a lesson/
    Time is perspective a seductive ocean, condutive lotion/
    Tastless, invites you to waste it, but sum obstruct the motion/

    An instrutive potion of enlightenment, thats heightened when/
    Innocence Nixes ignorance inside divine and righteous men/

    The past effects the mind, through deja vu, it's passed a second time/
    I have to press rewind, far away enough the track makes a U turn/
    but few learn from the relationship the past drapes the future/
    Flooded with cynical thoughts i release the first notion/
    and freeze the time by suspending the earths motion/
    A surge potent enough to tear the surfaces texture in a sense/
    Like weight is measured in pounds, time is mesured in events/
    Text words can't impress, so i'll help you invison this incertinty/
    A old timer has a short life, while a teen lives an eternity/
    it opens the next chapter and captures the bland design/
    that we can live long and leave our footprints on the sands of time/
    Draw it, it'll boost progression, and it will erase the proceedings/
    It's time to throw away my clocks and put faith back into my feelings/

    wat ya'll think?
    i swear it sounded like you were talkin about masturbating....

    but, erm, i didnt undersand your point or your plot if that was suppose to be some type on story........

  4. #4
    FRESH FISH jjh_38's Avatar
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    Default Re: My hotness

    lmao @ 7th..
    This is a pretty good piece man, nice vocab and internals. This shit could be real tight if the flow was smoothed out just a bit... good work tho..peace

  5. #5
    Taoist Saint GuardianOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: My hotness

    It was a tight verse, got a different style not yet in this temple. Nice verse keep posting.

    Peace

  6. #6
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Father N Dangerous's Avatar
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    Default Re: My hotness

    tight, as you can tell i've switched up everything and got my own shit going on. I hope to see sum of u that i use see back in da day. thxs for all the feed

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