ur right so far...
ur right so far...
through songs i write, my wrongs i right
if you wanna fight the power, get the power to fight
Quick reply try to beat the clock
Stick wit my jive, I strive to be the rock
Stop bawks, lyrical cops leave you in locked box
Ever extendin sentence, menace wit no penance
fuck the dentist, my truth hurts tooth like cavity
shoot the moon, poon...you fall from gravity
depravity happily, stop druggin' actually
start buildin' factualy, with mind factory
start attackin' me, you slackin' see
Dirty D blood, heard of me? mud
from the Earth, some underestimate my girth
worth, not a mil, closer to nil
shirts ill worn, closet to fill
pause at the bill, the cause my pockets still
need green like, shit, my phone fiends callin'
not stallin' just trying to get my balls in
this bitch, shit...i fucked this flow quick
hahahahaOriginally Posted by jallainINS
ill spit son!
the highlighted parts is wat i was feeling, not too bad for your first drop in ur thread, but i see alot of room for elevation
My skills punish, you untill ya grills rubbish, make ya cry like peeled onions More electrifying. Then a eels touch is, got a girl thats real luscious Eat these rappers for real like sealed lunches More bad ass than a navy seals gun is
More fly then everybody that wields luggage
Im the beer clutchin career crushin fear nothin fierce one with...sheers cuttin blood spills gushin no need to worry bout the wounds cuz u wont heal from it
no bitches on the phone this time
My phone bashed my zone, capone known around my home
Dirty Derry born and raised, now i'm very torn, enraged
taken from my grounds, when my feet pound down i astound
shake the very earth, with steps across nature's birth
please believe these seeds be decieved
none achieve when born slaves to trees
go ahead, blaze if you need, but heed instruction
or you crazed indeed, mind flows trample like steed
stallion wilin' from the child of the emerald island
blinded by diamond, i'm finding my true bindin' in rhymin'
applyin' thought not often sought, got caught sellin'
what people bought, but i'm still not tellin'
toss me down a well n' take away the ladder
drain my bladder, swim to the top in my own waste matter
i taste badder, as a matter of fact, spit me back
you know my flows too dope for this track
alright, i'm going to fucking bed...peace out
Not a freestyle but if this is my thread, then dammit...you'll read what i want you to read. I wrote this like last week when I was bored. Yeah, usually when I write I do it in this format. I'm just getting used to the format I used in above post.
My vocals reveal my local yokal status, ain't the baddest, paint the stratus black, mack daddy, act badly erradictly..exactly my habit see, i'm a true dude doin' like i was still in franklin zoo and it's a fact my stacks my lack something big but i fig it's alright, might as well burn in hell if i dwell on my wealth...my health, dealt a bad hand...friends done mad jams, junk box rocks with fresh white ankle socks, phat farm loafers two legs bellow toaster, above a torso with arms call blunt roasters, of couse oh, it wasn't a question what chu expecting my weapon is mental, dental surgery if you try to murder me, what you ain't eva heard of me?
Acid Battery
Audacious Master of Acid, the bastards blasted
In a fashion outlastin', the task's in motion
My devotion, opens hope and I'm a Pope approached
That means God to you sods, bod wreckin' henchmen
Stenchin' alcohol and methol cigs, I fig I ain't big
But I rig fights in my favor, no savior I raze ya
Hazed ways with no pay I pray crazed, okay?
Anyway, case beatin' brethren, defeatin' fed men
My law skills drop jaws, will you just stop? Pop
Goes the weasel, easy easel paint a picture
Take a flick, pick you destination, probation facin'
Crazed Hatian on crack, cocaine I spoke main-ly
Be pacin', heart racin' tastin' copper bloody
Lovely, muddy styles I run wild, no child
I stand a man, uncanned no preservatives
High Acidic content, I ram blow conservatives
Nativity born Lord, King swing swords of words
Verbs switched, I hitch a ride on my wheelin' pride
Stride with no stutter, nuttin' but-a somethin otha
Than expected, wreckin' sections like Mexican's benchin'
Weight, wait I drape capes, like the great Houdini
Who dun it? I spun it, right back this track stacks
Attacks on whack acts, I smack back when attacked
Mac daddy, exactly paint the Stratus black, baddest fact
Stratusphere near super nova, explodin' metal eatin' substance
The lad is here, sheer group exploda, I roll over better beatin' punkin'
Stunkin' stinkin', tryin' to connect Licolns drinkin hard, pard-ner
Fer...hours I devour sour mash, in a dour crash of will, stashed bills
Killin' villain chillin' with spillin' syllables, simple pimple popped
I leave dimples dropped, smile got...erased ya face lacks taste
Waste of air, dare to compare mon frair with pair of gats
I bust like that, old hat throw back to hacked limbs
I crack timbs against asphalt, it's you own asses fault
You halt, stop..who goes there? Who dares enter lair?
Nair hair removin' choosin' when and where I do abusin'
I stand a man, uncanned no preservatives
High Acidic content, I ram blow conservatives
^^^
True true, i like this bar
The flow u got on this song makes the lines less boring, the metaphors were pretty good on this. I like the topic on this and how u wrote about this character that goes wit ur screen name, nothin clever, its just that u exucuted the verse so good. This is proabaly the best u can get on this site, when it comes to writing un stretched out lines that u can actually rap over a beat and it sound right.
9/10
The dealer of hope is selling me lies
Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61
Better then MF DOOM nice work man for real.
Thanks for the feedback guys. I find when I try too hard to be clever I sometimes fuck up the wordplay. On that note, I'm gonna try and step up my next drop when it comes to that. I'm gonna use this as my main drop for freestyle writtens. I'll let you guys know if it's pre-written before I type it up but this, as with most of my shit I just think of off the dome as I'm sitting around bored.
Full chemical name, Acid Phosphate of Calcium
Pull decibel flame, massive losted fate hassle' em
Wrassle 'em, Hogan brogan holdin' headlocks
Leg locked, arm blocks, harm crocks of shit
I flip, fly off handle and chomp mandible
Tangible being, peeing on seeing, on sight
Whizz kid did bids, drizzed ridden biz lives
SIDS survivor, liver livin', saliva slitherin'
Spit snake, snap take, I cap shake
Meanin', your head shutters, shatters
By my extreme rhyme matters, mad hatter
Mercury poison batter, I bake cake great
Cook book, I shook rooks with quick looks
Nooks and crannies, niched man he's
A beast, greased lightning East writtening
Blightening flows, grown I chose thrown
Crown glown, You clowns known I'm blown
Fuck outta proportion, walkin' abortion
Extortin', kill 'em all and let God sort 'em
Holdin' fort, I'm cold in sorts, blame winter
Flame, flint or cherry, I maim splint for Derry
Ferry over caustic, toxic styles run wild
River giver of death, last breath stretched
To spit lyrics vexed, Pyrex sex now what's next?
Kamikaze suicide, ride do or die
Fluid I supply, lyrical high with my
Sty-les, wells swell hell or high water
Oughta drop, a bop I mop pops topped
Charts start finish, diminish tinnish metal
Pewter shooter, looter boot trooper
Stupor induced, loose goose guzzlin'
Puzzlin' poet, nuzzlin' flow tight
A night sleep and write, in dreams
Wake up, record scenes seen
Been places, tastless greatest
Latest arrival, baseless survival
Revival of lyrics, delirious serious
Sadisitic sick shit, flick it flame
Bad is it? Fuck it, flash it came
In same blindin' light, bindin' sight
Shut, eyes closed, unopposed
Bowes small sounds, abound ground
Astound hounds, dogs build like logs
Lincoln, resident president presidin'
Bidin' moments, hidin' components
For final show, back break spinal blow
Ryan'll know, spit raps in binal code
^^^
Perfect flow and use of rhyming words, that shit would sound great over a beat. Sounds like a mini part of gza's verse off of "publicity", except u can get his verse clearer.
The dealer of hope is selling me lies
Reasons to live are reasons to die, in disguise
This life was never mine, the rivers never ran
Cross your arms, its too late for helping hands
Spit your pity elsewhere, there's no sympathy needed
For one who's never alive, for one who's never completed (Bigot Hitman)
http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/sho...=25482&page=61
I wrote this after a certain incident one drunk night. My buddy got out of hand at a party after drinking Grey Goose, Private Stock, and playin' beruit. Long story short, he started getting on some fight shit and threatening girls and that shit doesn't fly. Either way, it got headed and I headbutted him. The fucked part was he took it to heart real bad and we've been friends for years and at the time we were coworkers. We're friends now but it was fucked up. I'm not even going into the details of it.
Either way, after that long boring ass life story, here is some shit I wrote a while back about it. I just copied and pasted from notepad and I don't feel like fixing it. Enjoy.
SMILE UP IN MY FACE, BUT THE WORDS TASTE FOUL, OWL EYED AND THIRSTY, YOU FAGS HURT ME, I DID DIRTY TO A BOY, YOU HEARD ME, NO NOISE, REAL THOUGHT ON WHAT HAPPENED FUCK A RAPPIN, THIS ISN'T ACTIN', I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN THIS NEVER COULD HAPPEN, YOU DUDES WAS TIGHT, MIGHT AS WELL BE MY RIGHT HAND, MY MAN
YOU SCAMMED ME LIKE YOU WAS FAMILY, YEAH, I'M NUEROTIC BUT YOU STILL CAN'T TOP IT, PISSED YOU FAGGOTS DISMISSED AFTER HANDLIN' A DRUNK BITCH, HEADBUTT KISSED LIPS, NOW MY ROACH LIT FINGER TIPS DRIP LYRICS, SO SERIOUS, YOU CATS IS DELIRIOUS
YOU HEARIN' THIS?
I NEVER TALKED SHIT ABOUT THIS WHICH FLIPPED THE GRIP ON DOG SHIT, YOU TALKED BITCH QUICK, BURN MY SHIT, RUN ME OVER, NOW I'M COLDER, I WAS BOLDER IN BEING HUMBLE, YOU STUMBLED TRYIN' TO RUMBLE THE BEAST, LOYALTY DECEASED, I EXPECTED AS MUCH FROM OTHER SUCKAS, NOT FROM SUCH GOOD MOTHERFUCKAS, 5TH GRADE ALMOST A DECADE SAVED IN TAPS, CRAP FLUSHED DOWN DRAIN, YOU STRAIN TO MAKE GAIN WITH LITTLE GIRL BRAIN, BRITTLE WORLD FLAMES
NAMES CROSSED OFF, TIME TO DUST OFF MY SKELETON AND BURN BEEF LIKE WELLINGTON, GO OFF, I'LL NEVER REPENT AGAIN
THIS ISN'T ABOUT WAR DOGS, THIS IS ABOUT TREE TRUNKS LOGGED, STRONG OAK CUT DOWN, WRONG POACHED WHAT I THOUGHT COULD NEVER BE APPROACHED, I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS ISN'T SHITTIN' OR DISSIN', THIS WAS COMMISIONED FOR YOU TO LISTEN, TO MAYBE STOP PISSIN' AND WHININ' YOU DININ' ON FOOD THAT'S POISON, IF YOU MY BOYS THEN DON'T TAKE SIDES, IF YOU MAN, SIT DOWN AND TAKE STRIDES TOWARDS A RESOLUTION TO CONFLICT, THIS CLIK BITCH SHIT HAS GOT TO BE CALLED QUITS, I'M CALLIN' FOR A STALLIN' IN YOUR BALLIN' EYES, BUT KNOW, THAT I APOLIGIZE. WHY? THE LOOK IN YOUR FACE OF HATE WHENEVER YOU STATE MY NAME, THIS IS LAME, NO BALLS, STOP...YOU NOT DAME...REARRANGED THIS DERANGED GAME
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