my official raps thread for meeeez

[Lil' Ruger]

i had to give the DFB forum this b4 u to see what they thought seee if it was worthy enuff for here they liked it hope ya'll do 2!


FlAMIN’ SWORDZ


flaimin maimin swords
clamin to be warlords
more hordes chokin cords
flaming sword flamin swords (x8 flamin swords then fades)


ma stacks swollen like they got allergic reactions to the killa bee sting
fuck dat gangsta shit shaolins ma thing
im like da god fatha kiss da ring
ma bling go ping when It hit u make u dead
all ova ya face vivid red
I rhyme mo den wiggy jiggy jed
now imam turn it up listen to what I said
from da mouth I pump bars
eagle blast yo ass half way to mars
don’t even front when it comes to cars
got ma whole pants lookin like a pickle jar
money in ma pockets cock stuck to her like some black tar
check da repertoire
ma profile is classified marked deadly styles
I used hustle da block for awhile
but when I pulled da mic cord
and equipped ma flaming swordz
maimin hordes of warlords
I got an army like as many post on ma message boards

flaimin maimin swords
clamin to be warlords
more hordes chokin cords
flaming sword flamin swords (x8 flamin swords then fades)

chrome hit a flame
burnin sword cut thru ya brain
its insane how it remains
shame how it regains
lost respect of the flea names
i can't be tamed
thats hit wit a blade wit a flame
it aint da same
i got the executioners axe
& im do atomic gallow traps
& sword acts for no tax
ya see me raps
watch me rap the end of the blade to ya dome wit fire
try to burn out da flame...man did u think i was a liar
eternal flamin sword
time to reward
all the niggas in the wards
who tossed out they flamin sword
burnin causin polluion
da sword ward needs dialution
thats how u end da solution
i did a burnin execution
wit a flamin sword

flaimin maimin swords
clamin to be warlords
more hordes chokin cords
flaming sword flamin swords (x8 flamin swords then fades)

i slice
wit my burnin device
u betta think twice
burn & chop ya back...you'd rather pick rice
then be nice
i add spice to your life
then iput a price on your wife
the flame leaves man thats triff

blastro big gat like monstro
astro fedel castro
I cudn’t have mo cheddah if I was made of mozzarella
shut da hella shaolin rebella dat bitch don’t tella
as I creep thru da dungeon I store the chalk
the smell is pungently loomin as I walk da walk
girl gotta big mouth fo ma dick so I know she talk da talk
wat da fawk I hit it again did it again
im in ta win killa for da scrilla how much I needa spend
I just spit on ma sword and forever it is unable to be doused
I hit her in da dirty but den I macked da south
aint no doubt in ma mind that being in the bottom of a reef inclined
cannot be mine this is just ma hateful soul coming for da next round
nose swelled up like basset hounds after I puff puffed a pound
fuck unloadin a round u wanna get him down?
UTILIZE DAT SWORD!!!!!

flaimin maimin swords
clamin to be warlords
more hordes chokin cords
flaming sword flamin swords (x8 flamin swords then fades)

[Lil' Ruger]

what u think compare it to ma otha song punishment chamber cuz i rememba ya'll was feelin dat 1

[Lil' Ruger]

any feedback?

[Lil' Ruger]

its kool to me what u think?


GET GOT



born to ice once or twice
entice in ya head like lice
turn men to mice
chop a stick nigga like rice
first i pay respects to the rap sense
then i use my pen and slay
prison dorrs barring
in the dojo sparring
i bow to my enemy grab da mic cord
and i whip out ma lyrical sword
for da quest da tournament i claim my reward
a rhyme drive by eniticated in a ford
particapated in the rap game bettah then killin on da boards
when i come through they pray to they lord
cuz im nice wit da scythe and not to bad wit da axe
ma shit flippin niggas like flap jacks
guns in da backpack whats so ill?
if it get hard best believe blood spill
1 2 3 im going for the kill
100 200 300 dolla bills
u know how i feel
steel ta dome
22's 24's spinnin chrome
light a niggas chest up like E.T. phone home
i spit acid leave nuttin but bones
and i leave da murda scene alone

nigga stop drop for u get got...(get got)
muthafucka'll get shot get got...........(get got)
hoes watch out for da cops cuz u'll get got.........(get got)
and haters just stop for u get popped and get got..............(get got)x2



benevolence irrelavence
testament hell i spent
hustlin rocks
shotty pumpin cops
gotti pushin rocks
hottie hitta spot
hitin da body witta glock
beat continuous neva stop
where they get got and get shot
smoke pot whinin like a tea kettle
crack in the back drug pedal
headpeice fractured by ma metal
lead beats mo trees den a meddow
follow cock swallow
easy peasy lemon squeazy
imma baller like off da heezy
wuts up?
shut up
get got
what the fuck
bleedin from da snub
drank a irish brew pub
i popped e witta bitch in the club
konichiwa bitches givin me backrubs
hack a muv
putta slug in ya mug
overdosin on a drug
give ma dick a tug
burnin the mic like skin on a rug

nigga stop drop for u get got...(get got)
muthafucka'll get shot get got...........(get got)
hoes watch out for da cops cuz u'll get got.........(get got)
and haters just stop for u get popped and get got..............(get got)x2



get got get shot smoke pot
shove rocks deal glocks
sell stocks you mock
I rung up nox
he said waddup
den we counted dat money WHAT?
till I bledd on da fingaz from papper cuts
hand full of kings ace in the hole
pawn on battlefield veterans old
gats illegally sold my army consist of a melting pot
now dis is how the story was told
started out bold hustle on the block
I thought the cash was continuous and wud neva stop
till dat one faith ful day dat I got shot
niggas standin around lookin blank after dey heard da pop
my whole world came crashin down
like blown white people hatin cuz I was brown
I think I wud neva get got by some klowns
who cudn’t even hold they turf down
so I got strapped up loaded da rounds
unleashed da troops unleash da hounds
equipeded ma glock put on ma crown
donated a pound to the renowned
they paid the respects to me the god
maybe they hatin cuz I voted SICKA for mod
makin ears bleed on an ipod
devastating nations even when the mic gone
guns drawn blue radiation from da palm
if u wondered about the thunder
don’t worry it aint as frightening as the lightning
it might have been if it was blazin through m stereos
second gen of wu we will neva go
kepp dis on da DL keep it on the low

[Lil' Ruger]

feed back rate 1-10 constructive criticism also wanted

[Ultimate Fist]

I'd say 8. You were kind of weak at the beginning but you picked up momentum and really kicked ass. I liked you didn't use too much Wu slang; brothers do that too much around here and dont get there own style. Some of the stuff was campy but mostly it was tight. Well thought out; when I was 13 I'd write too fast and it sucked ass. You keep at this and you got the right voice, you can do it man. Write 30 minutes a day or more and in a year, you'll be professional quality. Post your best of the week here and I'll try to remember to review it. Learn how to produce if you can the second year. Learn and master marketing the third year. Then devote yourself to two years hard work and I bet you can make it if you want.

[Ultimate Fist]

No disrespect bu this one kind of corny "I slice with my burning device?"

[Lil' Ruger]

nnononono i aint do that part i did first verse and fat part of the last part

i aint do the second verse and that lil mini thing on the third part ma part starts at blastro gat big like monstro

[Ultimate Fist]

Yeah the rest OK but not as good as your other stuff. No disrespect

[Lil' Ruger]

imma take that mini verse by my friend out on flaming swordz thats my mixtapes name too so it gotta be top notch and rep the mixtape naa mean? if u liked dat i got other raps hit me up pm u know if u wanna here more

[Lil' Ruger]

thats what i thought too i might needa put a sick beat or summin extra on it to have it come to par wit ma otha shit i dont wanna post ma early shit cuz its more bling bling cars shooting ppl and shit it could still bang in ya head but its not my new style

u heard the 1st one i posted punishment chamber i think u'd like that one

[rainbow]

flow and vocab could do with some work imo. eg.

"ma bling go ping when It hit u make u dead "

[J-Cee]

6/10
yeh man,for a 13 year old ur pretty talented at writing ay,keep it up..just get your own style..no need to follow any trends even if u love an artists style..just be real with ya lyrics..write from ya heart man.
but good shit mang...dont give up ay.

[VernakuLa]

6/10
yeh man,for a 13 year old ur pretty talented at writing ay,keep it up..just get your own style..no need to follow any trends even if u love an artists style..just be real with ya lyrics..write from ya heart man.
but good shit mang...dont give up ay.

im 14

and id say 4/10

not really appealing at all

elevate, tell me if you want me to go more in to what im saying

peace

[Lil' Ruger]

oooooo good reviews i think and nak yes explain