ElusiveFugitive **\\Thread//**

[Dae Ja Nae]

mine has never been the stylised, oppressively organised
rank and file, black and white profile of god,
prefer mine seasoned with salt of the un-civilised
odd, you may say, hanging my hat in the company of strays,
castaways individuals displayed in every conceivable shade of grey
spoken wordplay my new testament served raw on dinner trays
gourmet food for soul like resplendant bursts of the suns rays
illuminate niggling nonsense on your conscience
spit a rhyme so profound your soul climbs,
sparing you a life bowing to idols in the sinister shrines of primetime
dropping two pockets full of dimes, turning water into wine,
indifference the most heinous crime

inhaling lung-fulls of polluted air,
blistered feet walking concrete streets,
in the city aint no-one got time to care
about a mans fragile hopes and prayers,
sometimes its hard, being a shepherd in dark valleys of mind slayers
desperately draw enough blood to pay fare
on commuter trains shipping human cargo into the dragons lair,
deliberate as the masses wish away their years,
quietly strangled by uncontrolled fear of they peers
filing one by one in neat lines and disillusioned stares,
visions of apocalyptic matrix engineers

free thought drowned out by a billion barrages of ringing tills
corporate coffers exploding with mills,
but half a mans life's spent slaving for bills,
nothing to lose, I choose the redpill,
swill it around with a 5th of cuervo, chilled, spark a bone & get ill
drill into vast treasures of mental wealth,
diving headfirst, riding twisted for self
In a packed room of people but mostly it feels like there's noone else
and I am alone...


Elusive-Fugitive

FIRE FIRE FIRE!!! After reading the collab you did with Psy and Martyr, I had to go back and check for your work. Like I said before, you definitely have a way with words. I really like your style and the way you express your views. Keep up the GREAT WORK!!!

Peace

[ElusiveFugitive]

Thankyou Dae, I'm glad to have your feedback. Always appreciate a woman's perspective too.
Peace from the heart of the South Pacific .

ONE LOVE

[GuardianOne]

Hey its like you started from 10 counting to 1 and concluded the verse. Nice flow, like the way you brought everything in and creatively whilst at the last moment keep all in check. As is with the title.

Peace

[ElusiveFugitive]

002, INS, Dae & Guardian One, thankyou for posting feedback. Its a beautiful thing to be able to have your frustrations/ anxieties felt...Appreciated as always.

PEACE TO EVERYBODY WHO READ THIS, HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON!

ONE LOVE

[martyr]

...this is hot... ill get more in depth, im exhausted... i just play b-ball for two hours then brought my girl friend dinner and met Jason Williams, the basket ball player killer...

[ElusiveFugitive]

Yo Martyr, how you doing my brother? Dont sweat it, would love to have your feed when you catch your breath. I have'nt been on the forum much this week just been. My households been down with the flu, its still Winter here...I'll PM you about that Basketball Killer tomorrow if thats cool...Peace from the heart of the South Pacific

ONE LOVE

[Mantra]

All that plus a bag of chips.

[ElusiveFugitive]

Peace James, appreciate your feedback...

ONE LOVE

[TUCO]

"filing one by one in neat lines and disillusioned stares,
visions of apocalyptic matrix engineers"

wackness dude

peace

[PsYkOsUs]

"filing one by one in neat lines and disillusioned stares,
visions of apocalyptic matrix engineers"

wackness dude

peace

everyone's entitled to their opinion, but you should be takin' notes kid...

PEACE

PSY

[PsYkOsUs]

by the way, elusive, this piece was hot... you're settin' a standard, which is what i like to see... quotables:

"odd, you may say, hanging my hat in the company of strays,
castaways individuals displayed in every conceivable shade of grey

in the city aint no-one got time to care
about a mans fragile hopes and prayers,
sometimes its hard, being a shepherd in dark valleys of mind slayers

free thought drowned out by a billion barrages of ringing tills

diving headfirst, riding twisted for self
In a packed room of people but mostly it feels like there's noone else
and I am alone..."


-- all worded beautifully... keep killin' 'em...

PEACE

PSY

[Jabba Jaw]

definitly different n original

on the poetic tip!
feelin the last verse the most

dopeness
keep spittin son

[ElusiveFugitive]

Yo Psy, glad you liked it. Thanks for the props man.
83raw, you're right this piece is different. I'm glad you can find something in it.
Tuco...thanks for your thoughts...
thanks for reading everybody...PEACE

ONE LOVE

[ElusiveFugitive]

bitter-sweet sixteen,
innocence gleaned, demeaned, reeking of ol' Beam
on the streets her name's Lolene,
in the cold with barely a stitch on her
hangin' out waiting for cash donors,
starstruck slangin' her skin on street corners,

'bout 2 spot short, rockin' with schemin' thoughts to the ice man,
hikes her thong, shakes her ass, fondling the waistband
shows some skin 'n says "ehoa tick up half a gram?"
this sacrificial lamb, struck by a stiff assed backhand
beaten 'til she cant stand, K-O'd before she lands
yells out to his mans..."bitch on the block!!"...
ill niggas with plans, to scratch they itch in her spot
long train runnin' at blinding speeds, bitin' lips as she bleeds,
tenement tyrants takin' turns, terrorising the weak
she won't cry, limps out the door in agonising pain, head high
wanting to die... to levitate to diamond sky in her minds eye

outfit torn, nails broke, face bruised as shit
determined to earn enough small bills for pointed hits
grits her teeth and turning tricks 'til she can score a little bit,
situations hard and desolate...her occupation scars the desperate...
business is slow, on all corners round her ghetto
so she try to jack big ticket items for blow
a lex's worth a lotta dough, earnings cursed its gonna go
got crept on, caught rusty blade in side of her torso...

media write it as just another dead fiend,
poverty statistics, crimson blood seeps out her spleen
fugitive's on the lean, chasin' the ever-elusive green
observed the scene n' harvested this poetry from the crop's cream...

ain' no fucken soap box speech from the mayor
y'all dont hear about this shit, in election year
in desolate jungles of concrete,
realize with real-eyes... a vicious cycle of smiles and cries,
dying for destitute dreams,
dowsed with twisted fantasies of low-lives

Elusive-Fugitive 2005

[martyr]

...whew! .... that is very vivid... very well written... amazing imagery in the story... you coulda made me cry... sounds like you knew or knew of this girl... even if it's just a generalized statement... this piece has set in my like all your pieces... your writing will always amaze me.., this piece the same...