>>>Sun Supreme's Eclipsing Thread<<<

[Sun Supreme]

Let me know what cha think.


I think its time for the sun to rise on ya
ya'll been,walkin in the darkness long enough
hungerin, stumblin flat on ya face
till i came and laced ya plate wit sumthin srumptuous, taste
test this water out the goblet of grace
the blessin of mercy is upon you, be on ya way
Im beyond great, my grammer dominate
honor that, ponder this
why yu listen to niggaz claims over the promises
that i've scripted over parchment pages
watch in amazement, as Sun ascends to the next level of language
I hate to just leave u behind
but your agendas quite different from me and mines
read between the lines
that's where the truth lies
lies lay in front of eyes disguisin it
and its my mission, to bring it to the forefront
flowin like the nile from the south to the north sun the only one
yeah i done grown some, hold some
of this venacular caliber from the gun tounge
who done done what i did wit it, none
Grab ya sun screen and ya shades nigga, heatwaves comin

[Tha Ill Shogun Lord]

yo sun thats very sentimental of you(regardin ya sig)

as for yo flow i felt a few parts
peep

hungerin, stumblin flat on ya face
till i came and laced ya plate wit sumthin srumptuous, taste
test this water out the goblet of grace

yeah it hit me a taste then you finish it


why yu listen to niggaz claims over the promises
that i've scripted over parchment pages
watch in amazement, as Sun ascends to the next level of language

thats was tight

4 out of 5

[Sun Supreme]

This is my verse from a joint me and my cuz (collectively known as bloodflow) wrote off the criminology beat a while back. Enjoy!

I got a squad of monsters, sasquaches, and loch nesses
goliath-like giants, u minor in our presence
rhymes is death defying, like flyin acrobatics
admired by u aspiring rappers
look, im the master lines like daggers
stabbin in ya throat wit a flow like dragon breath
i flame throw till aint nothin but ash left
nigga everything u wrote is mediocre at best
its bloodflow, so u can go home and rest
cause the only thing that can stop us now is our own self
u'll need alot more help
ground support and air force jets when swarmin like hor-nets
ya'll talk, my rhymes walk like a forward step
and you never know where im goin next
but you know who im goin wit, my niggas, splended
u primitive, not fuckin wit the prince of this
who the greatest? debaters get scraped skinless
niggas get ate, basically, on the latest invention

[MX1]

yo my nigga..thats cool right there, good writing and shit

peace and 1luv

[Liquid Lines]

best line out of a tight verse:

Im beyond great, my grammer dominate


good shit

[Sizzy Up]

It Seemed .. Different.,. But It Sounded Pretty Smooth All Through.. Like I Seen It.. From A Writings. Point.. And I Got It., It Was Pretty Cool .

Alright.. Peace

[Bigot Hitman]

U had a real rapper flow on this with a little orginality to the flow, sound like a lightweight masta killa on this one. A few things i saw though bad, was the lack of wordplay, and shocking or clever punchlines. I don't know what type of verse your were attempting really, a bragadocious, or story tellin, or really not aimed an anything. Once u become a better writer with that flow yo style will be legit dun.

Overall 7.7/10

Tight shit:

Im beyond great, my grammer dominate
honor that, ponder this
why yu listen to niggaz claims over the promises
that i've scripted over parchment pages
watch in amazement, as Sun ascends to the next level of language

Drop a comment on this: http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34244

[Lincoln Hawk]

i can tell by the flow on this that it would smash in audio...content wise it was coo...not complex but not simple either...had a few lines that didnt seem to fly well but all in all this was solid and ima check for more from ya...peace.

[Krazi]

yeah that was a good read der man

flow seemed nice and unique 2 urself , and content was pretty fillin

dis is suttin i can really get in2

[Sun Supreme]

Thanx MX1!!!! Can I get more feedback?

[Sun Supreme]

I haven't posted a rhyme in a minute and I haven't post one of my new rhymes yet so, here it is. Fresh off the press yesterday.


Peek thru ya third eye realize im great
at the table wit Nas, Jay slidin a plate
I ate it wit 8 styles, and delegated wit Rae
Ima have a graet grandchild and still spit like wild flames
lames, stay miles away and debate
is hip hop dead or it ain't
im bout to big bank, buy an estate
for the poplockers and breakers
spray paint the whole crib wit labels
and sit it on a turntable
spin it, where the mike at? give it
when a emcee speak listen
wit a sicknin beat supportin em
might warp your demensions
mentally invison it, a picture of a sun tha none eclipses
you crispus atticks, the first one to fall when it happens
you just so happened to end up in histories chapters
I could laugh at cha
but choose to conduct myself in a respectful manner
hand in ya badges and guns the madness is done wit
its time to bang the gavel and judge niggas
like these savages and crumbsnatchin scavengers
stealin off the meal I captured
like my fam aint gotta eat and need napkins
notice thats present not past tense
yall lucky listen to pastors
and pass blunts, I aint gone front I'm an addict

[SHEEPISH LORD OF CHAOS]

love that first bars shit caught me son
keep killin e'm

[Its Big Lu baby]

sounds ill... specially the beginin. it would be nice to see how that flowed.

[Lincoln Hawk]

"I ate it wit 8 styles, and delegated wit Rae
Ima have a graet grandchild and still spit like wild flames"


smashin bar right there yo...solid drop and flowed very well from start to finish...came off like it would fly in audio as well...i digs duke...peace

[oDoUoSoKo]

its ok, but u kno loch ness is the body of water not the monster right?