The 'funny stuff that happens in clubs' thread
Dunno if this has been done before, but fuck it, i aint been on the site in about 2 years so i wouldn't know:
16 year old townies wearing their older brother's shirts, school trousers and shoes, nursing a bottle of wkd which they aint gonna keep down anyway. come on guys, you aint fooling anybody.
the girls in the low cut tops who get offended when guys stare at them, i think girls should lose the right to be pissed-off at guys looking at their breasts when they're struggling out of the dress.
the well-dressed versace guys who sidle up to girls with god-awful chat-up lines which at best get them laughed out, at worst forcefully exited out the club by the bouncers. i was in this one place about 3 years ago and one of these versace guys walked up to this girl, tapped her on the shoulder and said.........."i've got a waterbed."....stood there for a moment, then said "i'm sorry" and walked away. dumb fucker.
guys who perform dance routines together which they've obviously been working on during the week back home. guys.....you look gay, cut it out.
dancing generally, dunno about the yank places, but in britain most of the most who aren't doing the "turn around slowly in a circle pressed-together and cop off" dance are doing the "moving as little as humanly possible to be considered dancing" dance.
girls who get pissed off when they've dancing front to back with a guy and he gets a hard-on. i mean, come on, what were you expecting? you're pissed-off coz he finds you attractive?
girls who look at you liked you ran over their cat coz you asked them their NAME. what the fuck is that? i didnt ask you to have my babies bitch, i aint proposing, i just wanted to know your name so i could TALK to you. that really pisses me off, when people put their best gear on, fork out a wad of cash for drinks and spend the whole evening TALKING TO PEOPLE THEY HANG AROUND WITH ANYWAY. and when someone tries to get something rolling they get called a twat for trying to socialise in a club, wtf?
guys who have to "take a hit for the team" and go dance/socailise with the ugly girl coz his mates are getting in with the fine ones
people who pays for drinks with a fistfull of change, you fucking tramps.
middle aged men and women trying to recapture their youth by turning up in a club and no-one talks to them...or even makes eye contact.
3 pints goddesses; these are girls who, after 3 pints of lager or bottles of tart fuel (alcopops) believe they are goddesses for men to worship. they usually entails loud singing of cheesy pop songs (its raining men and anything by s-club/beyonce/rihanna), dance moves youd would expect to see on the set of a fucking jerry springer episode and high lifted arms drenched in sweat from the club lights. in a word....urrrrrgg.
grown men that look like their mum dressed them, they crack me up.
fat girls who wear thongs which you can see above the too-tight pants they wear. they're always off to one side as well. its like a train wreck coz you WANT to look away...but you cant.
bartenders who always serve the girls in the low cut tops even if you got their 5 minutes before them. fucking pricks.
girls who flirt with anything in sight and then walk off on the guys as soon as they get a hard-on.
guys who are so desperate for a shag they go for the girls who weigh "215 with low self-esteem".
when the lights come on and some dude realises that hes standing in a puddle of sick
when people lean on the bar....and jump back coz they didnt notcie the spilled beer which is covering 75% of the surface. (always happens when i wear my best shirts as well, fuck)
rucks that happen in bathrooms so the boucers wont notice
when 2 women fight and every bloke in the club runs over to egg them on
when some camp song comes on and everyone is so drunk they get up to dance. i was in a heavy rock type club one night and the dj started playing "hey ya", even the hardcore goths got up and started doing 'spirit fingers' for fucks sake.
underage girls with short skirts dancing around the poles the club has, it's illegal but you can't look away.
fella's who spend the whole night pacing around one girl that they can't think of a decent opening line to say to her.
pervy old bartenders making sexual innuendo when a young girl orders a 'sex on the beach' cocktail or similar.
when cross-dressers turn up (it happens once in a blue moon) and they get pissed off because people stare at them.
when the bartender give someone the wrong change and the guy is halfway back to his seat before he realises. then he's gotta wait another ten minutes at the bar to get the guy's attention.
when girls go up to random fellas just to ask them how they did their hair. (weird but true)
Thoughts?
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Originally Posted by Tonearm_Terrorwrist
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