.. Drop 16 ..
.. Peace ..
.. Drop 16 ..
.. Peace ..
I'll drop, waintin' for the games to turn on. I'll edit my verse in, hold up. I'll do something quick.
ain't got a clue on the mic, check check, 1, 2, 1, 2
while you busy counting ya Voltron figurines I punish you
I know you ain't number one, even ya crew second that
and the only luck you catch is a bad joke messing up raps
the only time you beating me when you doing the breast stroke
claim to be the illest, we all know at the end I'll rep the most
cause you fake, a con artist who could never beat realness
could never get off ya ass because I be relentless
dreams all about having nothing to lose, I don't, I be ill
I think somebody musta slipped ya ass one too many sleeping pills
the way you living on the streets, thinking everybody hates you
cause its forceful entry, walk in ya home, nobody relates too
so son, homie, homes whatever you fantasize being called just drop it
popping ya bubble, the lyrical raptor rehab his rapture quick
I think I wanna end this right now, cut him up leaving stubs
see, I pick off kats for a living, like I be living in a club
Last edited by thatKid; 09-16-2007 at 11:05 AM.
.
you're not demented / your soul is rented / i own you, everything you know i invented / pussy, your sn is misrepresented / here's a tip, try logging in as discontented / you've just been circumvented, along with the rest of the board / fuckin' mindless followers, i should've said along with the rest of the borg / you can't see me, i should've said geordi laforge / you've been deaded, tonight you should sleep in a morgue / right next to the mother you used to adore / sorry d, my daggers to sharp for you son / you on that lil kid shit, you know the wooden ones / slash you, have your body undone / to sprinkle condiments on your organs & let them dry in the sun . .
Last edited by iniquity; 09-17-2007 at 02:05 PM.
^Iniquity won that , I thought demented tried to go grimey but didn't get grimey enough with the imagery to really take it, wasn't overpowering the lines he was up against, the flow seems to get off, especially with this line
popping ya bubble, the lyrical raptor rehab his rapture quick (didn't really rhyme with anything , not near enough to" drop it" to pull it off,
Inquity definetly had the better flow and harder punchlines
fuckin' mindless followers, i should've said along with the rest of the borg / you can't see me, i should've said geordi laforge, <---------
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I'mma drop 16 here since you just trying to get the practice in anyways,
As a kid Iniquity filled up balloons with ketchup decked out in a dress
Actions a monsoon of a metaphor for what his ego couldn't confess,
When I pop melons its bitch-mades left de-fleshed in a red mess,
You go easy like hookers & hundreds, How am I supossed to be stressed?
He said the dictionary was 2003
In 07, he's tryin to encyclopeid-me
If you're tryin to teach lessons you've pick the wrong proffession
Invest in vertical cuts across the mid-sections just a daily session
You question what thresh-holds the mind can comprehend
While I'm meditating inside of a blackholde watching time bend
I'll stretch your guts out and hold'em there for infinity
A doomed little bitch forever stuck in your own iniquity
You think you blast-off?! Fucka you'r'a jack-off
Come around on the corner n' get your head smacked off
Kalishinkov bony knuckles that'll leave your face bashed in
Sittin in da' kiddie pen,soul crushed and knowin to never try it again
Last edited by Visionz; 09-17-2007 at 07:45 PM.
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hey visions unseen, you know other sites like wu-corp where you can battle and shit?
rite now this barely like a hobby. but I wanna improve my writing
Demented :
ain't got a clue on the mic, check check, 1, 2, 1, 2
while you busy counting ya Voltron figurines I punish you
good opener, but the first line didn't make much sense. would've been better if ya simply put "you" in front of "ain't". good opener nonetheless.
I know you ain't number one, even ya crew second that
and the only luck you catch is a bad joke messing up raps
ehhhhh, i liked the first line more then the 2nd, could've been re-worded for a better punch.
the only time you beating me when you doing the breast stroke
claim to be the illest, we all know at the end I'll rep the most
okay, well, at least we know iniquity can swim better then you. but nice 2nd line though.
cause you fake, a con artist who could never beat realness
could never get off ya ass because I be relentless
"realness" & "relentless" aren't really good rhymes reguardless of the 'ness' & 'less' try reading your lines out-loud to yourself. decent punch.
dreams all about having nothing to lose, I don't, I be ill
I think somebody musta slipped ya ass one too many sleeping pills
again, you could've put "Your" in front of "Dreams" to aim the punch at your opponent, otherwise you could confuse your reader. decent punch though.
the way you living on the streets, thinking everybody hates you
cause its forceful entry, walk in ya home, nobody relates too
good 1st line, but the 2nd didn't make much sense if ya ask me.
so son, homie, homes whatever you fantasize being called just drop it
popping ya bubble, the lyrical raptor rehab his rapture quick
wow, the flow was thrown all over the place here. some sick alliteration, but the end rhyme threw me off here. but it was a good punch.
I think I wanna end this right now, cut him up leaving stubs
see, I pick off kats for a living, like I be living in a club
pretty nice first line, but who picks off cats in a club? decent closer
Iniquity : Jesus Christ man! Please structure your verse better. I hate thiss paragraph thing.
.
you're not demented / your soul is rented /
i own you, everything you know i invented /
good opener.
pussy, your sn is misrepresented /
here's a tip, try logging in as discontented /
good again.
you've just been circumvented, along with the rest of the board /
fuckin' mindless followers, i should've said along with the rest of the borg /
now you're dissin' all of us? OHHHHHHHHHH. naw, it was a good punch. but try having it directed DIRECTLY at your opponent. rather then EVERYONE here, lol.
you can't see me, i should've said geordi laforge /
you've been deaded, tonight you should sleep in a morgue /
right next to the mother you used to adore /
the first line, i don't get, my bad. the 2nd line was decent. and the 3rd line was decent. not too hard of a puch, really. you're more creative then this.
sorry d, my daggers to sharp for you son /
you on that lil kid shit, you know the wooden ones /
ehhhh, i don't really find this punch effective either.
slash you, have your body undone /
to sprinkle condiments on your organs & let them dry in the sun . .
some fuck'd up shitt right here, makes me think you're mummifying him or something. decent closer.
vote - Iniquity
His verse was majorly consistent with the punchlines, had a little more creativity, and it flowed better then Demented.
Demented, for having JUST started writing since starting on this site, you're pretty damn good man.
Your flow was off, and your punches could confuse the reader & what-not.
Makes sure you know where you're aiming those things.
I also think iniquity had a little more consistency with the punchlines then you did, but the hardness in which y'all were throwin' em were pretty much equal.
stay up, both of y'all.
& demented, i'm really likin' your stuff man.
you're improving, keep writing.
Classic - "Disciple of Ares"
by the way, demented, you can find TONS of forum battle sites.
just google search "Forum Rap battles" & shitt.
that's how i find WTC, lol.
Classic - "Disciple of Ares"
Haha okay okay
I'm just messing around spitting rhymes that are half assed
but they still got the degrees to burn off ya flesh
When I really come with it you'll say oh he so fresh
with a distinctive style it'll be foul if you test
I'm the reason that 50 cent wheres that bulletproof vest
I'm the reason the United States is being struck at the nest
Terrorist with the dirty rhymes like airborne diseases
Chemical warfare that makes family grievance
Razor Sharp Knives hidden up coat sleeves and pockets
Got them kung fu moves that rip your shit out ya sockets
Move so fast in the night you couldn't catch it with oridinary optics
My skills aren't open as a debateable topic
ninja warriors come through if you try to lock shit
down double cross me I'll put your ass in the ground
and hook your casket up with speakers so your stuck with my sound
FOR REAL!
ayo watch me come out of nowhere and f yo shit up, with ya pre school raps hommie step yo shit up, you no competition, you not considered opposition, so give up or make a proposition, there's no stopping ish when, im in the mode to start to win it, lyrical homocide from start to finish, you should refrain from writing back, matter fact find a new hobby refrain from writing raps, yo shit sound like gays reciting raps, i was born to conquer rap, even if you crouched you still couldnt get down with that, easy
Last edited by ish; 11-25-2007 at 11:31 PM.
Let Me Step Up And I Speak This Topic/ I Snow That Ass In Avalanche Frost Bite Your Projects/you Dont That Jet Stream/it Aint Really Philly Action/ Bubble Goose Your Down/ Pen Up... Its Liquid Action/ Super Soak You Niggaz/windy City Where Im From/ Rotissire These Figures/call Me The Number Muncher/so Bad... Its Like Hot Relations/chumps Play Puss/ I Call Em Sweet Vibrations/ Im Just Waitin On Your Next Celebrity.
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