Stupid 002 story: I ditched my date...

[002]

...to listen to a madman for 2 hours.

I was talking to this guy near a subway exit, trying to sell some insurance, cause that's what I do in my spare time and this thin guy, about 50 years old, with a little beard comes to me saying he works for the same company and he could help me sell a lot more by making a website for me...

...the other guy was just leaving and my date was in about 40 min.
So this guy starts taking about the websites he makes. By this time I had no idea he was insane, I just thought he's a guy that talks a lot, and I mean a lot, cause he didn't stop for two fucking hours man, TWO HOURS!
After about 20 min I realised this guy is not going to stop and the idea hit me: I'll test my patience! I wanted to see how much I could listen to this dude yapping like a mother in law on cocaine. He just didn't take any breaks from talking, not even a second.

Among his subjects were:

- he can make a website for me where I can recite poems and then sell them as audiobooks for the blind

- the US and Russian armies stopped using nuclear submarines a long time ago because they iradiated the crew.

- he was an inventor in the 80s; using high-school level physics, he invented a small device. by putting hundreds of them together, he could power those submarines.....

- he also invented a time machine... made of plastic... high school physics...

- all matter is alive... and thinking... did you ever wonder why they never make a statue for a living guy? all hell could break loose if they would do that. I told him they did it for a sports legend and he replied: I bet that guy has visions, he can see what the statue sees...

- he has sent hundreds of e-mails to NASA, saying he's made a huge discovery:
he was just checkin out asteroids on the NASA website, where they are categorized. He noticed one of them wasn't in any category... after taking a closer look at it, it struck him: IT"S THE MOTHERSHIP!!!!!! The Mothership that brought the hairy white men to Earth. (as time passed, we lost the hair ..) (The ship had a cooky indian name too, but I can't remember)

and more...
.. as for my test, looks like I passed it with a fuckin A.
this guy was talking so fast, I actually thought he doesn't need to breathe... after 30 min into this shit my jaws were clenching... I took some deep breaths and I handled it.. for the last hour I had achieved a perfect state of coolness..
my date called sayin I was one hour late, and that's what made this guy finally stop...

[TSA]

if you had been dating a cutie with her booty steady bubblaxin then you won't have a prob.













post a pic of her so we can verify if it was worth it

[Orion Nebulus]

your date must've been fat and ugly

Lmaooooo!!! That had to be the only reason for tollerating all that bullshit.

[Emperor Les]

your date must've been fat and ugly

Fat & Ugly,,,thats a little redundant...

[J-Cee]

haha
ive met those characters before...something has to ressucitate you to get out of those fucking situations

[shinobi4227]

if you had been dating a cutie with her booty steady bubblaxin then you won't have a prob.













post a pic of her so we can verify if it was worth it

I totally concur LMAO

[NIGHT MAYOR]

haha
ive met those characters before...something has to ressucitate you to get out of those fucking situations

yeah we have a large amount in aus, our mental health system failed us.

[InspektaZook]

A time machine? Did he give you the specs because I will love to build me one of those. Once I built it I would jump in, set the coordinates and travel back to when you starting taking to this guy and tell you to get your dumbass moving to the pussy and not talking to that guy!

Unless your date was hot in which I would travel back before that, fuck her then travel forward to tell you to move on.

And then I would post again with the title "How'd I taste?"

[002]

I've dated her dozens of times before, it was no biggie ditchin her, plus she was waitin for me in a library, .. plenty of things to do there...

[Slippy The Pimp]

I've dated her dozens of times before, it was no biggie ditchin her, plus she was waitin for me in a library, .. plenty of things to do there...

Translation:

I usually jerk off when I get home.

[002]

you can believe that I jerk off when I get home, if it makes you feel better, I don't mind. I want ppl to be happy

[Slippy The Pimp]

you can believe that I jerk off when I get home, if it makes you feel better, I don't mind. I want ppl to be happy

It's ok little buddy. We all have to give it a jerk now and then.......

Just some of us more than others.