Love & Marriage

[Ecuanime]

Man, I got a woman that I can build with. We both came from nothing and now we both are college graduates, pursuing our M.A., got a beautifull daughter, house, and we are committed to supporting each other through thick and thin.

Someone in this forum said you can't build a marriage on love alone, that's absolutely correct. You got to make sure there is a strong foundation of trust and communication.

Even the worst days when we are arguing and can't stand to look at each other we know we are blessed to have each other.

[set_rule]

Co-sign ...... this statement
"Even the worst days when we are arguing and can't stand to look at each other we know we are blessed to have each other"

[KaramelSundae]

yeah that is a beautiful quote cuz its soooo true!!


they'll be days when you wanna strangle each other
and then they'll be days when you just look at each other
and feel all warm and tingly haha

[LORD NOSE]

the funny thing is that when you try and find the root of the cause of yalls feelings when it gets like that, its usually something so simple - like not getting enough sleep, or eating too much - once you realize the source, you can just admit to your partner that you are just feeling sluggish and you lack energy due to you either not getting enough sleep or eating too much - when both are feeling this way, just take a nap and be quiet - no need in getting into a big argument - and the words back and forth is usually due to both parties trying grab energy from one another - but thats another thread

[Mumm Ra]

it's next to impossible for me to get emotionally argumentative, I'm just naturally very calm and peaceful
not once did I get into it with my girl like that
and it's extremely rare anyone gets into it with me
there was only one time my ex really felt angry about something (though I didn't feel it was justified) and she ended up apologizing later that day.

[Visionz]

but having kids should require a license, because there's a rack of people out there who shouldn't procreate lol

^this is the realest right here, a lot of people get married when they shouldn't, even more have kids. I've seen some people that break my heart cuz you look at their kid and just think that the odds of them doing anything with their lives is completely stacked against 'em from jump.



As for marriage, I'm all for it you just don't want to rush into anything. Me and my wife were together for seven years before officially tying the knot. My parents got divorced and shit was rough on me so I wanted to make sure I wasn't placing myself in a situation where I'm potentially putting my unborn children through the same thing. Open communication and trust outside of love itself are the two biggest things to making a marriage work. If any of those are missing then be wary of who you're with. The Mrs/Mr Perfect really isn't out there for anyone for we all have flaws but there's more than likely someone out there that's perfect for you. Me and wife balance each other out very well, strong in the aspects where the other is lacking. That's the beauty of marriage if its a healthy union, a real team effort when it comes to making life itself better.

[theDZA]

i think that a love between two people is beautiful, and announcing that to the world through marriage is also beautiful.

"growing up and looking at your parents marriage,
do you think that will factor in the decision of wanting to get married?"

^ I think that when i look around at a lot of people’s marriages, in and outside of my family, although couples often look happy with each other, the spark does seem to fade for people who have been married for many years. I have never been the type of person to treat girls badly, and even though a lot of my friends think i’m a fag for it, i really look forward to falling in love and finding a woman that i want to spend the rest of my life with, but i am scared that the spark will eventually go...and it will turn from a great love for one another, into a situation where it's more like room mates who kiss and fuck sometimes and talk about the most pointless of things. I will definitely try my best once i am married to make sure we always feel that connection that bought us to one another in the first place, and remember how strong our feelings for each other are.


"do you think theres an appropriate "age" to be married?"

^ No, people should marry whenever they want to


"what do you think about arranged marriages?"

^ i think it is disgusting to put two people together, instead of letting them find true love. One of my closest friends is a Muslim, and her mom and dad are the result of an arranged marriage. One day i said to her:

"you know cuz your mom and dad were forced to marry each other, would you say that they are in love or not?"

and she said

"i think they have learnt to love each other over time..."

I think that no-one should have to fall in love with someone 'over time', and it saddens me to think of people in situations where they never got to experience true love for themselves, instead they are just forced to marry, usually to keep wealth within certain families - so these people who arrange marriages are effectively choosing money over the emotions of their son/daughter

[SG]

Modern Marriage

Because the family unit provides the framework for most human social activity, and since it is the foundation on which social organization is based in most cultures, marriage is closely tied to economics, law, and religion. The sociocultural implications of marriage, sexuality, family, and parent-progeny relations today form an important branch of behavioral science.
The institution of marriage has altered fundamentally in Western societies as a result of social changes brought about by the Reformation and the Industrial Revolution. The rise of a strong middle class and the growth of democracy gradually brought tolerance for romantic marriages based on the free choice of the partners involved. Arranged marriages, which had been the accepted form of marriage almost everywhere throughout history, eventually ceased to predominate in Western societies, although they continued to persist as the norm in aristocratic society to the mid-20th century. The most extreme application of the custom of arranged marriages was in prerevolutionary China, where a bride and groom often met for the first time only on their wedding day. Among the social changes that have affected marriage in modern times are the increase in premarital sexual intercourse occasioned by the relaxation of sexual taboos and the gradual rise in the average marriage age; the increase in the number of wives pursuing careers outside the home, which has led to the changed economic status of women; and the liberalization of divorce laws, including the legalization of divorce for the first time in Italy in 1970. Also significant have been the legalization of abortion, the improvement and increased accessibility of contraceptives, the removal of legal and social handicaps for children born out of wedlock, and rapid changes in the accepted concepts of male and female roles in society.

Modern Family

Historical studies have shown that family structure has been less changed by urbanization and industrialization than was once supposed. The nuclear family was the most prevalent preindustrial unit and is still the basic unit of social organization. The modern family differs from earlier traditional forms, however, in its functions, composition, and life cycle and in the roles of husbands and wives.
The only function of the family that continues to survive all change is the provision of affection and emotional support by and to all its members, particularly infants and young children. Specialized institutions now perform many of the other functions that were once performed by the agrarian family: economic production, education, religion, and recreation. Jobs are usually separate from the family group; family members often work in different occupations and in locations away from the home. Education is provided by the state or by private groups. Religious training and recreational activities are available outside the home, although both still have a place in family life. The family is still responsible for the socialization of children. Even in this capacity, however, the influence of peers and of the mass media has assumed a large role.

mmmhhhhh

[rainbow]

marriage is nothing but either a legal or religious arrangement.

[CharlesJones]

I'm never getting married because i don't trust women hahahahahahaha. With most women nowadays, it's all about a man's financial status. If a man got a nice car, nice house or apartment, a lot of money, women will get with you but if you don't have those things, you can forget about getting any attention from cute women.

[CharlesJones]

Plus another thing i don't like about black women is that most of them wanna have kids and they don't think about their job situation and their financial situation. That's the problem now with these black women in the hood that got kids. So many of their dumb asses got kids, don't wanna get a job, living on welfare and raising these kids by themselves because they always pick the worst black men to get involved with.

[LORD NOSE]

how many of them have you talked to Chuck ?

[TheBoarzHeadBoy]

I don't know why marriage is considered so hard. I'm way too young right now for it of course, but in my opinion marriage isn't the failure, it's the people who get into it.

Like I know for a fact right now that if I find someone worthy of marriage at some point that's game over. I'd never seek a divorce, I don't think I'd cheat, and I'd work damn hard to please her. The only way I could foresee a marriage falling apart is on the girl.

I think marriage should be mid twenties to early thirties. Men generally reach maturity in their mid twenties and by thirty they're ready to give up the woman to woman lifestyle. By that point it's not just about marrying for "love" and a pretty face. You're old enough for look for a life partner.

Divorce is an opt out. You can go broke and then make your money back. You can't get your life back. I believe in love, but I don't think a lot of young people understand what love is. You don't love that hot girl who has things in common with you. That's a friend. Marriage is on the permanence of actual family. You can't divorce your brother. You can try, but avoiding them doesn't undo the fact they're your blood.

I think marriage should be something you don't quit on. I also think marriage should be a final step in a long road. You got married at 16 when you only live to 30-40. Now we live to 80 and people are getting married at 20 or younger. That's too young. Double the lifespan double the point of marriage. Then have your ideal 1-3 kids (I think more then 5 is foolish because you can't parent them.) But I also think people need to be open to any and all relationships, even if marriage is the highest form of relationship.

[Visionz]

marriage is nothing but either a legal or religious arrangement.

when you're actually in a marriage (hopefully a healthy one) you'll know it's so much more.

[Slippy The Pimp]

Marriage should be simple.

"This is my wife so nobody fucks with her without fucking with me."

Divorce Should be just as simple:

"This is no longer my wife. She's lazy and doesn't read to the kids. If anyone else wants her have at it, cause i'm not fucking with her anymore."