"Eye Cry(where I've been)" gimme some feed back

[SnakeyeS]

I've lived through the struggle,
My whole life is a hustle,
Trapped in a bubble,
Locked in the wickidness of trouble,
With bloody knuckles,
Standing high, movin fly,
I always overshine,
Competetion can't bury mine,
The mighty dollar sign,
Corrupting my mind,
Hyponotized, By the Snake's Eyes,
With my head in the skies,
I can hear the angels cry,
Life just wouldn't grasp me,
My grandfather only one to understand me,
And damn I miss you,
When you left a part of me died with you,
Now I'm so estranged,
Novacain, couldn't soothe the pain,
Only I can't stop the rain,
My hands wearing bloodstains,
My whole life is a ghetto,
I can hear the shots echo,
Out here that's how shit gets setteled,
Gangstas pop the metal,
Stuck in this world waitin for it to end,
Again, I find my pen and pad my only two friends,

[lumkilabe]

i like your style some heavy shit yo check out my Wu slang and tell me what u think peace Snake Eyes

[ON POINT]

it had a flow to it

[I-Legit]

SPACE YOUR RHYMES OUT!!!!!! i had to say it......thats not really rappin...true MCs can make a whole song and just 'make' it sound like it rhymes....unless u tryin to be a lyricist then u have a long way to go my friend

BUT i do LIKE ALOT how u were expressing yourself...dont ever quit on that.....keep going and driving yourself..but i dont wanna sound like im preaching....so good luck man..hope to see you improve on here