HollywoodRealty AKA Da Butcher (Official Thread)

[rzarazorrzarazorsharp]

oh god...I've seen pskosus shit...nasty as hell...lolllll ...you don't compare man....you lose right away. And you wonder why he din't respond with a verse.

[martyr]

martyr didnt even give it his own twist, he took all my words, your on my nuts likethey were made of velcrow and your a cottonball

...i gave it my own twist, i called you a faggot loser, which you are... by the way, that could be the start of anew in rhyming for you... that was a weak simile... keep em' coming...

[hollywoodrealty]

ancient prophesies,
said manhood would take arms against fury
the grand jury
passed the death sentence
ill use some pass interference
to make a disappearance
bcuz my 3rd eye shines like a pyramid
with no eye lid,
never closen, always open
opposite of narcoleptic
talk sick like a septic
lyrical pyromaniac,
cranuim crack
from the x, rated pornographic
microphone mechanic
maniacal
diabolical super heavy weight moven through the night, just like traffic
spreaden, all across the planet

[Father N Dangerous]

i liked this whole verse, keep it up, and keep spittin

[GuardianOne]

Short and quite distorted. But it had a kind of flow to it , just can't place it at this moment. But keep posting. Want to check more of your verses.

Peace

[hollywoodrealty]

i use brainwashing, coercion and corporal mortification
to force upon u my education
my words connect like the stars constellations
add it up, its my calculations
no variations, I tell the same story of guts and glory
pinned down like Christ, bloody and gory
fury and anger, off the hook like a coat hanger
i hold a secret that puts my life in danger
it"s like a dagger in the heart, a beggar in the dark streets
walken around pale with cold feet
barefoot i roam across god's canvas
a vagabond keeping the balance of the earth"s axis
swing axes, chop wood, create a burning fire
sing passages of common good with a learning desire
i speak about the Holy Grail, it"s surely real
hidden by the lurches in churches who try to conceal
the heavenly secrets sold for gold and power
divine intervention, I plant seeds that grows the flower
the flower gives u the power to decepher misconceptions
created by man who planned to ruin mankind with deception
but u gotta read between the lines to make a connection
the omen will open your eyes with a sense of recollection
the reflection will surely change your views of resurrection
finally giving u a sense of direction

[hollywoodrealty]

can anyone give me some feedback on this, good or bad

[hollywoodrealty]

thanks for the comments, ya guardian, it does have kinda a crazy twist to the rhyme, but when u spit it, it all comes together nicely, thanks u for the comments, plz tell me waht u think about the other rhyme i wrote recently, beggar in the streets

[martyr]

...i'll get back to you on this...

[GuardianOne]

Umm!!!!
You seem to use a lot of explanations, not that most don't but the way you use it is too predictable. The verse is nice what kills it is when you try and explain giving it meaning, you have a good style, just by reading the verse others can tell you have a good style but its the way you put it accross or maybe it this verse. But it was a nice verse. Thje start seemed to be a bit confused (maybe to much explanations-first lines but as it progresses your style becomes apparent). But all in all you have a good style. Nice verse.

Peace
PS: When people notice the problem with your verse, then they can realize how good your verse is, or can be!!!!!!!!!!!

[martyr]

...the flow was on point except for the "...flower/" line and "...decepetion/" lines messed it up... i liked the first two lines, the "...gutsy and glory/...bloody and gory/" lines... then the last part about resurection... the first part you rhymed words that simply rhymed "-ation" after the first two lines, you should concentrate on your multi syllable rhyme schemes because you got the flow and subject matter... don't force them out, just count the syllables... de-cep-tion, the-set-ting, pre-wed-ding, co-llec-ting... ext. ect... keep writing...

[hollywoodrealty]

thanks everyone for your comments, special thanks to martyr, anyone else got something good or bad to tell me

[Dae Ja Nae]

I rather enjoyed it. I love the art of story telling through rhyme. I'm also feeling your sense of spirituality. It kind of reminded me of how I started out . Keep it up, and ...

Peace

[hollywoodrealty]

thanks dae, i was kinda hoping i would get a comment from u bcuz u are lyrically gifted, thanks for the words

[hollywoodrealty]

i know its tough trying to remake a classic, but im taking a shot at it, tell me what you think..........



i aint falling down, this aint no london bridge
im str8 chillen like some pizza thats inside your fridge
im inside your head, i control the image
taken over your thoughts, its the mental pillage
your village gets stomped when the king kong of rap
steps out the swamp and sings the song of war before we srap
you feel my wrath and begin to suffercate
swing my lyrical bat and just like that your done, it was a piece of cake
i baked it and ate it, and left nothing but crumbs
and then i washed it down with some red rum
mud spelled backwards is dum, ask buggs bunny
my rhymes are dope, i should get payed with drug money
but the government cant sieze what ive achived
i got accounts over seas they cant freeze
damn str8, like the creese in my pants
hold the mic so long so my arms strong like lance
i never run around and prance like a fairy
i huff and puff your little house on the priere
your brick house aint no match for this big bad wolf
ill hypmotize your eyes with just one look
then ill knock u unconcious, get in your subconcious
send u to the moon when my space shuttle launches
so be catious if you got beef with the butcher
cuz you'll get punked, call me ashton kutchner



miami kepps on maken it
ft lauderdale keeps on taken it
hollywood keeps creating it
univesally sucka's hating it


i smoke the weed de de da de smoke the weed de da all day
if you got that fire plz come out and smoke that hay
cuz, here's an example of the flyist one, boooooooo
here's an example of the flyist one



its 420 fuck the kids, do you know where the weed is
the beat is fat plus i got my adidas
i feed this rhyme in your head cuz you need this
everybody wants to be a millionare like regis
if you rejects step in my way you become roadkill
either that or splattered on my windshield
try to step to me but u cant penentrate my force field
my words heal like the pope you get cold chills
i got mad skills, they need anger management
can u manage it or loose control like savages
im on the hunt like scavengers, bust shit like gallegher
and i got more greens then a salad bar
read the tarot cards but the future is premature
put my name in the game, sign my signature
spit this literature, you'll study me in philosophy
about how i keep it real and i spit shit honestly
the hennesy from tennesse has got me remenising
im like a-rod, when i swing im never missing
im dissing you fools call me simon cawell
you're an american idol thats suicidel, throw in the towel