The "I wanna live at your place" thread

[Rev Jones]

Who are some of the (unwelcome) people who wanted to stay at your place over the years?


yesterday I was watching some corpse floating in the lake on 'Ozark' when I get repeated calls from an UNKNOWN NUMBER

while I expected agent Petty on the phone threatening me into some heavy petting it was this dude I hung out with years back. a group of friends that went out on the town boozing it up, none of us see each other anymore. anyway, long story short last time I heard from him was three years ago : "Can I come live at your place?" No. He had just moved back from abroad and his own place was still being rented out as per the contract he had signed himself

yesterday : "Can I come live at your place?" Nope.

I'm sensing a pattern here.

it would take me too far to explain this guy's rather hopeless situation but some of the highlights include a closet gay relationship in the Philippines (shades of agent Petty after all) - an inexplicable medical condition that makes the guy fall to the floor every once in a while - severe mental breakdowns.

he was calling me from a psychiatric hospital. he had checked himself in a while back apparently but due to COVID he could not check himself out. patients aren't even allowed to go for a walk on the grounds at this point. (I was actually SHOOK when he told me that.) so he needed me to sign off for him and provide for a place to stay. mind you, he still has his own place but the furniture got robbed (long story) and he doesn't have the money / willpower to get some new furniture (mediacl retirement + the mental breakdown). essentially when he's home he's camping out on a lawn chair in the kitchen. so he tells me.

this guy used to have it all, or pretty much so. great house, nice sports car (he gave it away to somebody for her birthday!), steady job. then he up and left for the Phillipines after discovering he was gay (he'd been married and divorced before) and things went sideways from there on out


well - long introduction.


this thread is not about the guy. bless him, I hope his luck changes but I can't be helicopter parenting anybody who's an adult at this point in my life.


this thread is about all the people who have asked you over the years to stay at your place for an extended period of time. I don't know what it is but I used to get this question A LOT.

* this other guy was planning to leave his wife but 'needed a long thinkover'. He wanted to camp out with me for a few months, have his own room. I had been the witness for his wife at the wedding. classy. so he tells me 'can I?' and I actually get him a room in order, moving furniture around etc. many phone calls later he says he'll stick it out. eventually leaves his wife on the first birthday of his youngest son. never wanted kids to begin with. great guy and all that

* this former student of mine (a six on the scale of TSA so about an eight on the scale of Hal) got kicked out by her mom days after buying her mom a jacuzzi to make up for some kind of fight (yeah, I know). she phoned me literally eight minutes before arriving on my doorstep. caged bird in tow. I shit you not. she was planning on staying the summer. in the end she only stayed about two weeks and moved out when her mom called her to come back home or she'd call the police about her 'disappearance' (yeah, me neither). this girl was of age, just tbc, and had a job

* etcetera

* etcetera

* ET fucking CETERA

I like how this post makes me come off as a jerk.

So let me ask you : what kind of people have asked you to stay at your place? What are their stories?