Man uses kebab sammich to plug up his slashed throat.

[Uncle Steezo]

A KNIFE attack victim saved his own life after having his throat slit — by stemming the gushing blood with a doner kebab.

Quick-thinking James Hobbs, 37, held the wrapped £3.40 takeaway to his neck for several minutes until his cousin found a towel to cover the 5in gash.

James Hobbs ... shows wound



The jobless dad lost 6½ pints of blood by the time medics arrived at Tasty Bitez.
He needed an op to open his windpipe so he could breathe and 27 staples to seal the cut.
James said: “I instinctively whacked the kebab to my neck to restrict blood flow. It’s pure luck I was hungry.”
Jamie Edney, 34, is charged over the attack in Highbridge, Somerset.

[diggy]

next...

kebab insert-able tampons

[check two]

this sounds like a check two thread

[KERZO]

Every man, woman and child should carry an emergency kebab now at all time just in case they get their throat slashed.

[Uncle Steezo]

^you might need two. one for your neck and the other for your split rectum.

[diggy]

ahahahahahah

1 man and 1 kebab

ahahahahahha