Jamel VS Imitation

[Robert]

.

[Luther Large]

i know its way past 15 minutes but if you still up for it i'm down

[Robert]

,

[imitation is suicide]

follow through life, like light streak beams,
streathened for over turned things, golden flashing rings,
respected by varsity colored strped captains,
sure for hectikness happens, vains feed by evil refined needles, resign,
coinciding lines, for a mind divine,
time resines, strictly original rhymes,
im so quick, reverse the hands of time,
confined to a dark light,
fuck around and loose your license, pend, patent pending on my mic,
got me mending,bending, record labels, tellin fables,
of books that read the thughts of revenge,
laid back in your head,
to pull agait, shut up im thinkin,
paint pails,your skins pale,
hit you like i would a nail,
you as slow as a slug,could never excell,
tryin to battle a knight of valor,
i wouldnt put it past ya, quickly blast ya,
you can call me masta,
cause your fought , cought in this cycle of non-stop hip hop,
dont be tryin to steal my props, kick rocks,
...........................................

[whiteguy]

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[whiteguy]

DIE I HOPE ALL RAGHEARDS AND NIGGERS DIE WIPED OUT THE EARTH ALL YOU DO IS FUCK SHIT UP!Niggers Niggers Niggers Niggers Niggers Niggers
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[Hellspawn]

dope verse!

[Visionz]

follow through life, like light streak beams,
streathened for over turned things, golden flashing rings,(dope internal rhyme and good visuals)
respected by varsity colored strped captains, (yo, true indeed)
sure for hectikness happens, vains feed by evil refined needles, resign,
coinciding lines, for a mind divine, time resines, strictly original rhymes,(do that & the flow is greatly enhaned, dope lyrics right, so try to line these multi's up so people can really see 'em, these are really good tho, fact that ur 16 makes these amazing to me)
im so quick, reverse the hands of time, (challenge urself to find a different way to say this here,
confined to a dark light, ( the concept ur going for is tight, but words here could
(use better execution, like
"I stop motion w/ the movement of my hand
Leave a wac emcee like he standing in quicksand.....Do you, nawmean, u were able to take some words of wisdom and run w/ that shit. I can see a drastic improvement in just one verse so say what you feel but aim for vivid shit when u breakin it down for em')


fuck around and loose your license, pend, patent pending on my mic,( dope line but instead of pend in the middle think cant contentd w/ this and remove liscense, cause it seems like it kinda force you to loose ur pace with the words themselves, and then doesn't have a rhyme anywhere with it, so I think you'd either have to rhyme liscense or take it out, in this case I think it's best to chop it to keep it from stretching)
got me mending,bending record labels, tellin fables,(watch out for excessive comas, it breaks up the flow)
of books that read the thughts of revenge,(<no rhymes or nears rhymes here)
laid back in your head,
to pull agait, shut up im thinkin,(the flow is startin to get choppy here)
paint pails,your skins pale,
hit you like i would a nail,
you as slow as a slug,could never excell,(its starts to pick back up w/ these last 3 lines)
tryin to battle a knight of valor,(< no rhyme here either)
i wouldnt put it past ya, quickly blast ya,
you can call me masta,(not a bad double here as far as flow but it lacks imagery, kinda generic)
cause your fought , cought in this cycle of non-stop hip hop,
dont be tryin to steal my props, kick rocks,(nice finisher here, mighta wanted to throw maybe a little description of the rocks just to keep the flow solid and wouldve been a nice triple multi which are really dope way to end it nawmean)

On the real homie, it was a tight fuckin verse, started off reall strong kinda fizzled a little in the middle and then came back strong again at the end. I got critical at times just cause I think you grasped the fundamental real quick so I think you can handle those things that'll help take you to that next level. You're a real quicker learner homie, so keep droppin bombs on fools, we can throw down when this tournament gets finished. I think it'll be real interesting to see how far you can get in the time it'll take to wrap the tournament up. By then people might have to read 'em over a couple times before they can cast their vote. Feel like the force is strong w/ mothafuckin Imitation is Suicide for real. Yo, btw that name is like the polar opposite to Whiteguy. peace homie